Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?
Salaam brother,
I graduated last year and found myself in a similar situation. The first few weeks were enjoyable as the student lifestyle pretty much continued post exams (even managed a holiday abroad with siblings) but reality hit in after the honeymoon period ended.
After 6 months of struggle I was still jobless and became utterly depressed. Filled out one application after another, attended interviews, volunteered various roles. I felt like a failure so give up everything to sit in my room to do hours of nothing.
I'm from a creative background and wanted something related to my field, even if it meant earning in peanuts but opportunities weren't coming my way or I wasn't looking in the right direction, Allah knows. Due to the depression I began painting and sold some pieces here and there, earned a nice amount of pocket money but it didn't pay the bills.
It distracted me and got me busy but it wasn't a fix. I still had no sense of direction and was lost. It didn't matter if I passed or lived . I wanted a purpose. I contemplated a lot. Prayed. 8 months passed nothing happened.
As a student, I had taken up a part-time job as a Quran teacher in the local masjid because I was good with Tajweed and it was only 2 hours an evening. The masjid didn't pay much attention to the Madrassa aspect and the system was pretty much in shambles. The teachers did their bit and left. There was no committee or management, just the imam who worked about 4 different jobs and did no justice to any one of them. A very agreeable man but with no support.
One day, it occurred to me that something must be done about the Madrassah if it is to survive and someone needs to take that responsibility. To act as a leader and make the change.
So, I got up of my backside, had a word with the other teachers and formed a like-minded group. Together we approached the imam and found he was only too relieved that Allah had answered his prayers.
For the past 4 months, me and my team have been working on a new education system for the Madrassah. Everything new from scratch. New aims objective, new agendas, new policies, new methods...........
The changes have made a big difference but there is still so much more to do! and I want to live to make sure I see fruits of this change.
The past few months have changed my life. I work day and night but I'm not exhausted by it. I earn my rest and my food. I am at home and at peace I found my purpose in life. It doesn't bother me that I don't work typical 9-5 hours. It doesn't bother me that I work early on Sunday morning till late at night and then Monday morning again. And that I'm earning peanuts. What matters is that I'm useful,I have a purpose and that I'm helping to make a difference. I'm happy.
Moral of the story: Do not let depression take over your life. You take control of your life! Try as many different things as you can. Sometimes we travel very far to find our purpose or understand who we are but don't see the opportunities right in front. Explore avenues you would have never considered, realise what you want from life.. and chase it :)