Stuck in a rut at 23?

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

I can feel it , and even question it if I made a right decision . With the current situation in the country and every other person telling you that what on earth you are doing back in Pakistan , really makes you wonder . I don't know it doesn't feel right . Most of your life in Pakistan revolves around your family , and they must know where you are , when and why . Plus this insecurity in the air really sux . You never know when and where someone will rob you , and you won't be able to do much about it . Life is just tough and slow .

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

Get married, baji! Get a kid or two. And then later a few grandchildren... It'll add marchi to your life!

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

Baji ? Hahahahha . I do acknowledge the fetal mistake i made by choosing the handle ' mugofcoffee' here , but Im not a girl . This is the first time I had to say this hahaha. But a lot of people I know advised me to get married and / or engaged but after a couple of bad relationships in the past few years and Im not really interested even in dating right now.

UnPlugged , you are absolutely right. I do love my family and want to spend time with my family but it gets out of hand and a bit annoying at times , going to shaadis , mandatory visits to relatives etc. Plus the fact that parents need to know where I am , what I am doing all the time.

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

You have all the signs of depression. Seek professional advise.

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

Jst find some friends start ur own life , spent som leisure time with ur family too coz they deserve it too.Join som club if u r interested in flying join flying club , or join golf club or join any other club tht u like...

spent some time over internet explore ur field , start exploring some domain in detail of ur field n plan for the higher studies in tht domain . still a long way to go u can wait for the rista stuff coz i guess u aint mature enough n ready for this kinda responsibility .

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

I think you are lacking a purpose in life. I remember being 23 and in pretty much the same boat as you .. but I wasn't in Pakistan at that time. The thing is that even though you think you have a good "social network" around you the reality is that they aren't making things happen for you. They are not motivating you enough.

Maybe you need to get involved in something that you are passionate about. It doesn't have to be a specific niche but you must find something interesting in life. Change your crowd a bit.

For example, if you like XYZ then find out if there is anything happening around XYZ and attend those events, socialize with ppl with similar taste.

Travelling is another great way to find out more about yourself. You are in Pakistan, enjoy the beauty of this country by travelling around. Mind you right now might not be the best time to travel, as there are loads of floods. But if you think that helping others can be a cause that interests you than join a local charity organization to help you. (i know many young lads like you who are helping out, so if you are interested i can introduce you to them)

The way I got out of this situation was by:

  1. Changing the crowd around me
  2. Tried a few different things that I thought would interest me
  3. Travel a bit (not too far but within my budget)
  4. Changed my job (i actually went to my manager and told him that the work i do right now bores me. he listened and helped)
  5. Counted my blessings by having my family near me. Believe me you might not realize this but if you have siblings and parents than connect with them. A little fun activity (even if it is gupshuping with them) can help you calm down.
  6. Don't stay in your room all alone. The reason you are down is because you are social and hate being alone.

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

I think you should start applying for a masters program. This is your chance to live life, find a partner, etc. So don't waste it thinking about how crappy life is in pakistan, but do something about it.

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

[QUOTE]
find a partner,
[/QUOTE]

u mean find a study partner n start ur Master ASAP ...

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

ummmm...

no hot chicks at work?? :S

you need to find a girl.

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

aunty I don't the guy's interested in girls- i mean shadi... see his reply to my post!

seriously, right? he needs a girl! that could fix his problems. shadi karo, bache pade karo or khush raho, ok ji?

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

missweet... i also saw mugofcoffee is not interested in girls...but seriously... thats whats going to help him methinks. mugofcoffee you need to start taking interest in the pretty girls around you :D koi toh ho gi office mein pyari si sweet si who you like? :D

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

yeah aunty yaar! mugooo, larki ko dunloo office meh! or phir shadi karo!

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

^

exactly missweet! :--) :D

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

  1. Pray 5 times a day (perho nahi namaz k dill cha raha hai, per isleya k dill chaahay)
  2. recite Quran with tajweed
  3. volunteer work
  4. surf GS
  5. cook
  6. paint

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

Thanks for all the posts. : ) .
Auntie je and misweet, i dont really want a relationship right now. since university I have become very selective about girls ( no i am not full of myself , just a couple of not so happy endings in my past. Though i cant seem to find any as you would put it ' pyari se , sweet si larkee'. I tend to end up with the complete opposites !!
I have decided to take a vacation somewhere with friends and pick up my life after that. I guess a part of me doesnt want to grow up maybe thats why I am feeling this way.

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

hmmm...ok well... have fun then :) good luck

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

this might help you to motivate ..

http://www.facebook.com/#!/video/video.php?v=198181092679&ref=mf

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

Salaam brother,

I graduated last year and found myself in a similar situation. The first few weeks were enjoyable as the student lifestyle pretty much continued post exams (even managed a holiday abroad with siblings) but reality hit in after the honeymoon period ended.

After 6 months of struggle I was still jobless and became utterly depressed. Filled out one application after another, attended interviews, volunteered various roles. I felt like a failure so give up everything to sit in my room to do hours of nothing.

I'm from a creative background and wanted something related to my field, even if it meant earning in peanuts but opportunities weren't coming my way or I wasn't looking in the right direction, Allah knows. Due to the depression I began painting and sold some pieces here and there, earned a nice amount of pocket money but it didn't pay the bills.

It distracted me and got me busy but it wasn't a fix. I still had no sense of direction and was lost. It didn't matter if I passed or lived . I wanted a purpose. I contemplated a lot. Prayed. 8 months passed nothing happened.

As a student, I had taken up a part-time job as a Quran teacher in the local masjid because I was good with Tajweed and it was only 2 hours an evening. The masjid didn't pay much attention to the Madrassa aspect and the system was pretty much in shambles. The teachers did their bit and left. There was no committee or management, just the imam who worked about 4 different jobs and did no justice to any one of them. A very agreeable man but with no support.

One day, it occurred to me that something must be done about the Madrassah if it is to survive and someone needs to take that responsibility. To act as a leader and make the change.

So, I got up of my backside, had a word with the other teachers and formed a like-minded group. Together we approached the imam and found he was only too relieved that Allah had answered his prayers.

For the past 4 months, me and my team have been working on a new education system for the Madrassah. Everything new from scratch. New aims objective, new agendas, new policies, new methods...........

The changes have made a big difference but there is still so much more to do! and I want to live to make sure I see fruits of this change.

The past few months have changed my life. I work day and night but I'm not exhausted by it. I earn my rest and my food. I am at home and at peace I found my purpose in life. It doesn't bother me that I don't work typical 9-5 hours. It doesn't bother me that I work early on Sunday morning till late at night and then Monday morning again. And that I'm earning peanuts. What matters is that I'm useful,I have a purpose and that I'm helping to make a difference. I'm happy.

Moral of the story: Do not let depression take over your life. You take control of your life! Try as many different things as you can. Sometimes we travel very far to find our purpose or understand who we are but don't see the opportunities right in front. Explore avenues you would have never considered, realise what you want from life.. and chase it :)

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

^mashallah :k:

Re: Stuck in a rut at 23?

afaaf well said… :k: