Re: Strong feelings
well..........I thought you knew how guys are.......tumnay woh mahawra nahi sunna...'ungli pakrayee thi tumnay to haath hi pakar liya' ..so she might just wanna hold hands but you can't trust the guys...and she might have hard time stopping him
Re: Strong feelings
Chambeli the fact there there is physical attraction between you two is not a bad thing. In fact it IS normal.
I think you should take it easy though. Since you are getting married soon (InshAllah ) you should tell yourself that you will be able to do er all the physical stuff afterwards.
Right now I think you should concentrate on his personality . You dont want to do anything you might end up regretting.
Re: Strong feelings
as a part of 'knowing his personality' it is imperative that she assess his bed side manners.
But, I would advise strongly against you two getting even within a few yards of a bed.
Please wait til the baraatees have eaten biryani qorma.
Re: Strong feelings
Which still applies to what I was talking about. The scholars I follow state that touching a non-mahrem is at least makrooh. So she should get nikkahfied ASAP, so she can hold his hand in an approved manner, or else simply see him less.
Re: Strong feelings
Maddi and others: I think it’s more than just holding hands.
Re: Strong feelings
holding hands is makrooh??????? makrooh means there is no gunnah for it but it is not preferred....aap konsay scholers ko follow kertay hain sir ji
Re: Strong feelings
Just go with the flow....my friend....free your mind....;)
Re: Strong feelings
No he says “ju can do it!”
Re: Strong feelings
Thanks for your replies. It helped.
And for some of you, please start another topic where u can talk non-sense!
We are not getting married before December/January. And honestly I wont survive not seeing him or talking to him. I have become addicted to him which is so unlike me. If I don’t see him for a couple of days, I become depressed and miss him so much. And the same goes for him.
When we meet, we talk and talk. I have gone through a very hard time with my family and he is doing his best to help me. He never tried to do anything wrong even if he had the chance to do so. We both believe it is sinful to get close before marriage. And that goes both for physical and other closesness.
I feel like we are trying to stop a natural process. Even though I know why. I don’t know whats going on.
The way he has started looking at me only confirms to me that he has same strong feelings for me as I have for him.
Some days back, he was saying that lets get our nikkah done without telling anyone. And I think I know why.
We are not able to marry before 6 months or so. Would it therefore be wrong to get our nikkah done without telling the families since they are not ready yet?
I just want to avoid getting so close to him that it makes me shameful before Allah. And on the other hand it is hard not seeing him every other day or talking to him over phone. I want to be near Allah and him at the same time but I feel that being in a relationship before marriage draws your attention away from Allah as you keep thinking of him and not Allah as I did before…..
Re: Strong feelings
LD: You can see the stark distinction between a man’s and woman’s way of seeing things. Why girls have to see everything so negatively?
I started with a postive reinforcement: Mashallah. 
BG started with a negative reinforcement. Astagfirullah 
We both conveyed the same message, but…
PCG: How did you make out that someone here is supporting illegitimate sex?? 
Re: Strong feelings
Chameli420 > Is it possible for you the two of you to discuss having the nikah earlier with your parents? I don't know how your relationship is with them but maybe if you explain to them that the nikah will let you guys get more comfortable with each other as mehrams, they might understand. You mentioned that your parents aren't ready yet for the nikah but you can tell them that things will stay the same as they are now except you both will feel much more comfortable knowing that you are mehrams.
Personally I don't think getting the nikah done secretly is a good idea because it will probably cause problems when they do find out. I know you will have your husband to support you then but I think it might be a better idea to let them know about your plans.
Re: Strong feelings
There is nothing wrong with getting nikkah done w/o telling anybody as long as your nikkah is valid, i.e. witnesses et al…If you two are finding it difficult to stay away from each, which is perfectly normal and natural…there is no harm in getting nikkah and do whatever you please…
Re: Strong feelings
agree with PR. i know too many couples who did things behind their parents backs and ended up getting into a bigger mess later on. at least tell them you're getting it done whether they like it or not. imagine how they'll react when they find out afterwards......