Re: Strictly platonic/pure relationships between a married male and female.
no, I don't think you can have a completely platonic relationship with someone of the opposite gender AFTER A POINT. Sure, I have male friends, but I can say that with any guy that I've become "best friends" (ie: super close) with, things got messy really fast and we aren't friends anymore. Somewhere along the way someone likes someone else, or people start putting stuff into your heads and things get complicated fast. If I was married, I, too, would be kinda upset if my husband found it okay to share things with some woman that isn't his wife, but that's because I feel like husband-wife should be friends more than anything else.
Re: Strictly platonic/pure relationships between a married male and female.
Silaai machine aap ki hui
If I was best friends with someone of the opposite gender I’d marry them. Why would you want to have one person to share your thoughts and feelings with and one for sex? The only way I see that happening is if I had Scarlett Johansson for ze sexy time.
As for the OP, I wouldn’t mind my wife having a platonic or for that matter a good natured friendly (not the touchy feely kind) relationship with someone with the opposite sex. Obviously no meeting up alone for a movie or sitting on a love seat together.
Re: Strictly platonic/pure relationships between a married male and female.
If he thinks he can have a strictly platonic relationship with a member of opposite sex, than yes he can. I'm not going to judge his capacity to do so and therefore, allow/forbid it.
Religiously, about the whole shaitan bit- they never have to be alone. They can be friends in front of other people. I have friends who're guys, I've never been alone with them except when I professionally have to. I've also had friends where things got messy and we're not friends anymore. I guess you've to judge each relationship for itself and evaluate if it's "halal" for you.
Re: Strictly platonic/pure relationships between a married male and female.
**I feel having a “best friend” of the opposite sex would be more a form of "emotional cheating " !..
The whole concept of having a best friend is about having someone with whom you can share your innermost feelings and come to for consolation , advice and comfort . It would be more like a “third” person in the marriage and at some point in time that is sure to create issues of mistrust and jealousy.
I would expect him to be able to have that kind of closeness with me . I think its important that spouses share that kind of emotional intimacy with each other…be each other’s best friends…
And also I’m possessive , I wouldn’t wanna share my man with another woman no matter how platonic the so called relationship might be !**
Re: Strictly platonic/pure relationships between a married male and female.
IMO we can be friends with opposite genders but we can't have close friendship with them... if they become close their friendship will turn into something more than friendships. I have few good male friends and i usually discuss my problem with them as well but i cannot discuss everything with them. I need female friends to discuss everything including small issues of my life because i feel comfortable talking with girls.
Same goes for my to-be-husband. He can have as many female friends as he want but it should be only friendship not close friendship.
I want to be his best friend and he will be mine InshaAllah. He will be the one to whom i can share my every problem and feel comfortable discussing EVERYTHING with him.
Re: Strictly platonic/pure relationships between a married male and female.
I wouldnt impose restrictions on him because a lot of this is common sense. If he is stupid enough to cross those lines though - why bother with a guy like that?
I dont sit on a guy's lap no matter how good of a friend he is to me. Its not like I very religious - its a matter of what I have been raised to know as proper.
Re: Strictly platonic/pure relationships between a married male and female.
why it is carp. Modern(moderate) molvi do exist in our society and disco mullah is a slang word for them. what's wrong with it ?
Modern molvis really..Never heard about that.So you mean modern molvies are open to drinking,dance in night clubs,sleep with prostitutes then in the morning they start preaching Islam.Seriously then why they are molvies in the first place?
Even if these type of people do exist in our society calling/terming these hypocrites mulla is a slang to those who are pious.
Re: Strictly platonic/pure relationships between a married male and female.
Modern molvis really..Never heard about that.So *you mean modern molvies are open to drinking,dance in night clubs,sleep with prostitutes then in the morning they start preaching Islam.Seriously then why they are molvies in the first place?
*
Even if these type of people do exist in our society calling/terming these hypocrites mulla is a slang to those who are pious.
Re: Strictly platonic/pure relationships between a married male and female.
Yes, I myself have a lot of very close guy friends so there's no reason why I wouldn't be ok with him doing the same. I don't have any real boundaries to be honest, I mean obviously I'm not overtly physical with them but have no issues spending one on one time or sitting on the same sofa. Not saying this is religiously ok of course.
As for why wouldn't you just get married to the guy who's your best friend, well I love my husband and we can talk about many things but at the end of the day we are two different individuals with different opinions, tastes and hobbies. If you're lucky enough to find one person who shares the same things as you completely, then great, but I myself have yet to find one person who I get along with completely. With some friends I can talk about politics, with others sports, with others my career, etc.
Re: Strictly platonic/pure relationships between a married male and female.
Would you allow your spouse to have a strictly platonic relationship with opposite gender ?
Why yes or why no ? You can give any reason , your personal preference , religion , culture , societal norms or what not.
If you would allow it , then would you have some boundaries for it , like they cannot go out to watch movies together or sit on a sofa or love seat together .
But again if you impose any restrictions then how do you consider it strictly platonic relationship ? Aren't you being judgmental or jealous or doubt the sanctity of this relationship ?
I would have boundaries. Recently I found one of my female schoolmate. I am in touch with her but I brought in my wife and these 2 ladies got connected and now they are friends. So its more of a family friendship situation now than her being 'my friend'.
Re: Strictly platonic/pure relationships between a married male and female.
I would have boundaries. Recently I found one of my female schoolmate. I am in touch with her but I brought in my wife and these 2 ladies got connected and now they are friends. So its more of a family friendship situation now than her being 'my friend'.
I have told my female school friends ... If they ever see me with a girl in long run, just dont come and say hi coz i would reject that i know them.
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