STRICTLY : Ladies ONLY

Lifestyle Health & Fitness
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In some sex ed classes such questions/fears aren't addressed. It's a very common question too for women with no experience....even among non-Muslims/non-Desis.

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^^RV is right...not all women/girls recieve sex ed classes or guidance from family members.

My khala's bahu, who is a distant relative, was sent to America on a visit visa for the sole purpose of marrying my cousin! She came from a VERY simple background (they did not even have a telephone in her home, the first time she had ever been to a restaraunt was when she came to US and we started taking her out). Her mother/aunts never gave her "the talk". So when it came time for the shaadi, I was with her at the salon to get her ready, and of course, the girls start in with all the corny "suhaag raat" jokes, and my poor bhabi had this dazed and confused look on her face. She pulls me aside and asks "tum log kis barray main baat karain....raat main kya honay wala hay?"....YES..she was THAT bholi!!! And the year was 2001, she was 23 years old!

So when I picked my jaw up off the ground, and summoned the courage to gently explain to her, the poor girl turned white as a ghost...she honestly had no idea. It was her luck that her period had started that very day (!), a few days after the wedding and valima, my cousin called me and very shyly asked if I wouldn't mind having a "talk" with his new wife to help calm her down and address her fears....OH LORD!!!

This poor girl was soooo frightened and confused...she actually...gulp wanted me to show/demonstrate to her what exactly needed to be done, if you get my point....

Up until that point, I had never seen/heard of such an extreme case of naivety, but it does exist!

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^ I completely believe that women may not always have that knowledge. Not all families are comfortable talking to their daughters about what to expect, it's sad but true.

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^^^Fair enough. Okay crown, Before the actual act of intercourse you must do kissing, hugging, touching etc as part of foreplay Foreplay - Wikipedia.

And during intercourse just try to keep your muscles relaxed, the more you tense your muscles the more it will hurt so try to stay calm and if possible apply some lubricants on your privates.

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the pakistan female society is very over clever they talk like that infront of ppl like they know everything and making jokes out of it,

but yes some pakistani unmarried girls dont know abt suhaag raat and etc which makes them scared and embarassing,

even i didnt know abt that when i got married , infact actually i dont live in pakistan i didnt grow up in pakistan but never had such talks to someone to my friends or when ihv ever heard such talks i ignored

my czn asked me abt it i was like ya ya i know.... but to me did happen the same as with ur khala's bahu i got my dates LMAO, but i still knew a few things abt love making so i did it,

my mother was not ready to tell me abt that actually no mother would tell her daughter abt first night they always send someone to the bride,

the story of my cz is the same she got married and she didnt know anything, her mother says to her, jo bhi kare chup rehna, mardon ka kaam shuru and what not she was so scared
and she had a night with her husband in the nxt morning she was crying infront of my mom like she cried the whole night,

so there is nothing to shock abt it if a girl doesnt know abt first night, not everyone r enough clever

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@shera21

Really you didn't know about sex? I can't believe you. Especially living in Germany.

What about TV, movies (Bollywood is big in pakistan) and those romance novels, you were never exposed to it? Even in the most conservative of societies people are always exposed to it and know about it, it can't be avoided. You don't need to be CLEVER or have watched porn to know about it Heck even in my grandmother's day in rural pakistan, I'm sure they were completely aware of it when they used to breed the farm animals lol, no parents needed to tell them about anything.

What about in islam? Zina is mentioned lots of times, one of the biggest sins, you knew that was premarital sex right?

What about where babies come from? Did you ever ask yourself about that? What about why you have your period?

I don't get it maybe I'm just too knowledgable lol but I;m not directing at you I'll give you the benefit of the doubt but alot of girls pretend they don't anything because they want everyone to see them as innocent. I'll be honest I'm nervous about my wedding night I've heard it hurts quite a bit but i hope to enjoy it too (shock horror). I just cannot accept that any grown woman whose getting ready to get married doesn't know about sex, sure she would be scared or nervous but not having a clue seriously? What do you think you will do with your husband that night, play pattycakes? Sure sex is a pain but what about childbirth alot of these sheltered girls are expected to pop out one every year, seriously man up.

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LMAO. I was literally laughing when reading this lol. OP you should just calm down go with a flow.

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**Adab-e-Mubashrat **by Dr. Muhammad Aftab Ahmed
(Islamic ways of intimacy and sexual relation with your spouse. )

Link:

Above book is comprehensive and also discuss periods/cycle etc.

I will strongly recommend following books to bride and groom. Please read them before getting married.

For Bride:
Tohfa-e-Dulhan by Muhammad Haneef Abdul Majeed

For Groom:
**Tohfa-e-Dulha **by Muhammad Haneef Abdul Majeed

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^Aham. women only?

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that title was to attract men.....

the trick is working....otherwise y someone will open thread with such a title.....

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:smilestar: see post # 28.

my response is not limited to women, men can also read and get sex eduction as Islam prescribed for them. :@:

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Not tryin to be bicchh here but she clearly said. Strictly ladies only. Have some respect and courtesy.

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STA posted name of few books and i dont find it offencive in any manner......

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You're failing at trying. If you were trying harder you would have resisted your urge to pick up on his post.

Also, I'm in YO threads reading YO posts. COME AT ME BRO!

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Regardless watever it is. The OP's request should be taken into account. And my comments were directed to you too.

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????

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really i though i had some kind of immunity.........

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Stop policing the internet.

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Ok. I was feeling bit sensitive about someone's request. I am sorry if i said neything rong.

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yahi to baat hai, many ppl think that living in europe all ppl know everything but excatly is the story that im one of them who didnt know abt it, so whats wrong with it? kya europe ki logon ka dimaagh dirty hona zaruri hai?

germany mein rehne ka yeh matlab nahin hai k wahan sabko sab pata hai, yahi to bimari hai desi mulk mein rehnewalon ki, k har koi yahi samajhta hai k yahan sab kuch sab ko pata hai,
depend karta ha k aap kis mahaul mein bare hue ho ya kis family c belong karte ho,

mere ghar ka esa mahaul hai k meine kabhi is bare mein nahin socha kyounke mujhe humesha yahi kaha jata tha k jo kuch hai shadi k baad hota hai and im sure every mother says it to her daughter when she gets her first periods
yahan pe school mein parhaya jata hai k sex kya hai aur us se bachna kese chahiye, ofcourse i know abt sex
what i was saying in my last post is actually k mujhe billkul bhi nahin pata tha i didnt mean that , i said i didnt know much things abt it
when my husband kissed me me for the 1st i could give him a push back and say dont touch me but why? ihv always learn that lovemaking is only made for married couple in islam and dats correct
i knew what sex is i even knew k karte kese hain BUT always ignored that topic to talk with someone abt it,
i do watch bollywood movies but i switched the scene off when i saw it know i watch films like that with my husband,

im not changing my view abt it im just telling that HOW V DESI PPL LIVE IN GERMAN ITNA KHULLA MAHAUL HONE K BAWAJOOD

i live in germany and its common here to have every week a new bf , but ihv never done that because ihv never find it right, qauz i am a muslim girl and i believe dat evetything happens after marriage, agar mein ek pakistani muslim larki hokar kar week ek bf choose karti aur sex karti baad mein,
aap jese logono ne kena tha hawwwwww ma baap ki izzat ka kya hoga yeh woh!
yahi kaam jab pakisan mein hota hai uswaqt koi kisi ko ye nahin kehta how do u know?? sab yahi kehte hain hawww batameez larki kitni chichori hai yeh woh

my dear sis, not everyone in europe are the same,

i know my answer is satisfied to u, and u still maybe feel weird qauz i am from germany after all, but ese log hote hain yahan pe, qauz ihv grown up in a decent mahaul in decent family,
end of the story,

another story my friend she got married with 18 yrs and she didnt know abt it, her husband tried to do many times with her but always failed, she went with her mother to a lady dctr and she told her everything abt it, yeh bhi hota hai.

sab k dimagh mein yeh hai europe mein bohut gand hai yeh hai woh hai, lekin pakistan ki bhi halat koi saaf nahin hai, ek zamana tha jab humare ma baap apni jawani mein isbare mein baat karna pasand nahin karte the aur aaj kal parlor wali aurten dulhun ko sajata hue ese baatein KHULLE AAM karti hain, uswaqt sharam kahan jati hai?