Usually I deal well with stress and take things calmly. But these days I have just been so stressed and so freaked out.
I have not really been active at work for like 3 months cuz I was on vacation for 1 month, then I got ill for very long time and when I finally got back to work I really didnt have energy nor motivation to start working.
Every day at work is like a battle. I have my own office so usually I sit alone all day working or at least trying to work and at the end of the day I just feel so lonely cuz sometimes I can sit and work all day and not even have spoken a word with anyone else as there are just a few persons at my floor. On top of that I kind of fight daily with the allergies I have at my work place and need to take tablets before going to work but the side effects are that my skin is getting rashes ![]()
So now there is a pile of work tasks to be done and I still lack the motivation. My boss has noted that I havent been very active in some tasks and was making me aware of it when I went to his office to talk about some other stuff so obviously it aint good!!!
He kind of annoyed me when he started to discuss my allergies cuz I felt like I had to jutify for things and when I showed him the letter from my docter he was asking if this docter was Pakistani..hmm making me feel like having a letter from somebody I know and not a docter!!
Just totally crap!!
When I come home from work I have this immense need to talk cuz usually I have been so quiet at work. So I start talking like a parrot..hehe…though I feel sorry for my hubb who has to listen to all my non-sense…
And when I think about that hubby might be thinking that I am crazy then I miss to have friends. I miss people to talk to. I miss girl-friends so I can go girly things with them like going to shopping and stuff. and then i realize how hurt I am of the friends wo dissappered from my life just when I needed them the most!!!
So I try to bond more with family and stuff but that turns out to be even more depressing as there are issues going on with bro not wanting to marry while parents are trying to make some plans to convince him to marry his fiance in the summer…phewwww
So I meet new ppl and it turns out that I sit and listen to all their problems (with my own head over-full of stuff) and advice them on what they should do..I take it positive that they show me confidence at such an early stage but I also fear that they might take advantage of me just like my other friends…
Well, well…it seems like wherever I go, whatever I do I end up being stressed out, tired, restless, sceptic, sad and so on…
I was in such peace and tranquility. what just happened to me in the past few months…