You have a family. Your parents, your siblings, and then you eventually marry, and you’re expected (well, most families, some I guess the guys still need to depend on their parents even after marriage unfortunately, because Pakistan’s economy doesn’t actually ALLOW everyone to be employed) to marry and take on a woman and her responsibilities, her whims and desires, her wants for this and that.
And then you’ve got this career. Or your schooling, or whatever. And of course, things are not always peachy on that route. Crap happens. You don’t do well, you get laid off, you get in trouble at work, there is some lawsuit, someone is after your position…regardless of whatever the challenge, your JOB and LIVLIHOOD are at stake every damn day.
iA most of you will never lose your livlihoods, and I PRAY you never land in such a situation, but I have two questions:
What would you do if you lost your job and you have the missus and the kids to still take care of
How do you deal with the PERPETUAL fear of losing your income/degree/etc and how a simple mistake at work, or a rough road or some set of circumstances, or some annoyed coworker or boss or what have you, can wipe out everything that matters to you? (you lose your job / don’t get the job / don’t get the degree → your wife finding it hard to make do, and possibly even (worst case scenario) leaving ya?
Jesus Christ, scary stuff.
Just thinking about it, makes me NERVOUS. How do you guys deal with it??
C'est la vie. My personal defense mechanism is to avoid taking additional responsibility (getting married, having kids, etc) and looking to achieve financial freedom through work and investments. Alas there will be hoops you cant jump through, and that's life.
Well you gotta work, plus you gotta get married, so there's no avoiding having to juggle both. At least not for men in our culture; and that's growing to be true now for women too.
I lost my job once after being married and had two little kids , it took me 3 months to find the other one which was similar in pay but it gave me a chance to switch my career . Heck I did not even have a career before this calamity. That career change was the best thing that happened to me , I no longer have fear of losing my job , but I do have fear of moving if I lose this job and find the other one in some other city or state of US.
I think some guys certainly do have this issue, but not in all cases. In my family it's the girls who look after my parents, pay the bills, look after the family etc etc. I have one brother and he is a bit of a lazy spoilt sod who has never worried about this stuff in his life. And yes he is married, but the situation has never changed.
This is what happens when you spoil the sons and make them think they're more special than girls :(
If everything collapses, do everything in your ability to get back on track. If the wife does want to leave, its her choice. My personality (at least) does not allow me begging when I am not at fault.
That is why I work in the field. Well that is why I am still here. If I could afford to leave work and search for a job in a safe location I would do so. But why kick a goose that lays the golden egg?
I have my own immediate family to take care of; we don't have sons. Now it's really dawning on me that if I don't do whatever the hell I can to ace my job, then...jeez, I just look at my mom and her happiness, and I'm like...I will DESTROY that if I cannot support her.
Still do not know how you guys deal with it. I have serious issues with anxiety and coping with fear, I think.
I have my own immediate family to take care of; we don't have sons. Now it's really dawning on me that if I don't do whatever the hell I can to ace my job, then...jeez, I just look at my mom and her happiness, and I'm like...I will DESTROY that if I cannot support her.
Still do not know how you guys deal with it. I have serious issues with anxiety and coping with fear, I think.
God has his ways of making things happen.........don't worry too much...
When I was reading the OP's post, I thought someone had stole my thoughts :) This feeling of the fear of losing my job is always in my mind and I'm always thinking about it even though losing my job may mean an opportunity for me rather than a loss. But the fear doesn't go away. And thinking of getting married in such a venerable situation is like a nightmare for me.
To cope with this anxiety, I tend to save a lot. Keeping backup plans like making alternate career plans also helps a lot.
When I was reading the OP's post, I thought someone had stole my thoughts :) This feeling of the fear of losing my job is always in my mind and I'm always thinking about it even though losing my job may mean an opportunity for me rather than a loss. But the fear doesn't go away. And thinking of getting married in such a venerable situation is like a nightmare for me.
To cope with this anxiety, I tend to save a lot. Keeping backup plans like making alternate career plans also helps a lot.
