stress at work

Society Business and Career
1

How do you deal with stress at work? i mean if your job has become so un-rewarding , you have difficulty sleeping at night?

My job started off pretty well but then they started piling on the pressure, which at first was fine because the company needs productivity.

But now we got a new IT manager who is asian i might add and hes a nightmare. He keeps his distance from me, makes fun of me, ridicules me in-front of everyone and ontop of that is a sell-out muslim (goes to the pub at lunchtimes)

Me and my colleague get blamed for everything that goes wrong, even when its clearly not our fault. We’ve been told that everything is our responsibility, and if something goes wrong we will be held responsible.
The job has just become so hard, we have to watch our backs for everythign we do, but we are only human, bound to make amistake somewhere.

Hes changed our job roles, gives us really demeaning things to do, and ontop of that tries to tell me how to do my job, when i been doing this for 3 yrs !! so patronising. He has no faith in me for anything and in the 3 weeks hes been here, ive not had single positive comment from him, and i know im not a complete failure. im good at what i do, even if im not the most mature.
Hes so difficult to talk to, so full of himself and completely obesessed with work, on top of which he treats me like a 12 yr old.

I get off the cuff remarks like “i want to squeeze every pennys worth taht you are being paid out of you”, “im glad u are going home really tired” , “we’re all adults here, i dont want to bang u 2’s heads together to make u work like adults” …he clearly likes throwing his weight around, but why should i take all the sh*t? hes got others doing it to us now as well.

We’re pretty sure he wants to muscle me and my colleague out of our jobs to save the IT budget.
My colleague is nearly ready to have a nervous breakdown.
Should we give in? or stick it out or what?

i dont have a family, or any real responsibilities, so i could quit, but should i really give him the satisfaction?

What could i do, to make him treat me better? and not have to watch my back for everything i do?

Should i give him some stick back?
Just stay quiet?
punch him?
hand in my noticE?

i dont know how best to deal with this

2

Ahh I felt so sad when I was done reading your post. I'm not an expert in this matter but I also recieved a lot of grief from my boss in the past but your situation sounds way worse. Your boss has no right to make you and your co-worker feel like this. This is downright inhuman. I think he may be suffering from some deep psychological complexes.
All I can say is that, if you have a HR department or someone who's superior or at least equal in rank to your supervisor, I mean someone who seems like an understanding person, do talk to them about this. Don't let the frustration build up as this will only harm your performance and your health as well. And no, don't quit. Why should you quit anyway? I once felt like quitting too but I gritted my teeth and stayed behind because I knew by quitting I would let them get better of me. I'm glad I didn't quit because over time I proved to them that I'm actually a worthy employee. It's just a matter of time. Hang in there! My prayers are with you :)

3

Meanwhile try meditation and herbal tea :)

4

jazakallah khair for responding.

Im not sure who is responsible for our HR, but do you think its a little premature to approach them at this stage?

he could argue it with the fact that he is making changes for the betterment of the company, and i need to see it through.

Plus i dont have a good enough collection of facts as yet.

i dont see this guy moving me up the ladder. The job is a little below what i am capable of but i took it because i was told i would have good career prospects, but with this new guy i dont see him giving me any room to develop. Hes already took a few responsibilities off me, and handed me some more demaening ones.

I want to move into something that doesnt have as much firefighting involved etc so i was planning to quit and look for something else anyway.

5

document everything he asks you to do. make sure that you have an airtight case should the matter go to HR.

meanwhile you need to prove to both yourself and him that you're better than his assesment of your worth.

meanwhile, keep on the hunt for alternatives. the last thing you need is the compulsion to keep hanging onto a job that isnt worth your talent and isnt appreciating it.

as for hanging on for spite, yeah, thats what i would do. to be honest, i was facing a similar dilemma. heres what i did/am doing

  • found an alternate for the mid-term future
  • proved/am in the process of proving myself indispensible, and my demonstrating my abilities as unquestionable
  • if they dont start treating me with more respect i will accept the former alternative ..but not before i make sure they want me to stay.
6

ravage thank you for the advice,

but i do not understand how or what im supposed to document exactly.
What should i be writing in there and in what way?

i cant really document his attitude towards me can i? its the way I personally feel he is behaving towards me, others will view it differently.

Not something, i feel can be done on paper. I just want my own back on him at a personal one to one level, cos his attack has to me has been at the same level, i dont want to get HR etc involved if i can help it.

7

Couple of things to do:

Document everything (in a notebook and not the company computer!)
Make copies of the things that would prove that you are doing your job right such as an email initially from him requesting a specific item and then a change later on
Just keep focused on the job for now

I would suggest you consider looking for a job right now while you have a job before he kicks you out. Once you find a job or once it gets really bad talk to HR, show them the information you have and let them know what hes doing to both of you (though I would focus only on yourself cause the other person may not be inline with your completely).

One thing to note if you decide to look for a job after quiting, your future employer may want to talk to this firm. if you look for a job right now you can tell them that you cant involve your company because they dont know and that will prevent them from talking to your current firm. Also make up a good reason for the move and not just cause my boss isnt treating me right.

8

document the exact tasks he assigns to you. keep the document as professional as possible and mention

  • tasks assigned
  • tasks fulfilled
  • his reactions

all of this is important because its important for managers to keep people they're supervising them focused and content. if both of you are so quickly dissatisfied then that isnt a good reflection on his management capabilities.

i guess you would know best the exact situation in your office. but the best way to get level with him is to do what he attempted to do to you..put you out of your job.

a sock on the nose is very satisfying, but it doesnt help your career.

9

eemo... are there any cross-functional opportunities that you can avail in your current company? the reason I ask is that when and if you end up going to HR with your case, you can elaborate the situation and ask for a placement elsewhere in the company. Afterall, a longer term experience in the same company counts a lot.

In any case, my advice would be to:
1- Document your job responsibilities before your new manager was hired and how well in your opinion the job tasks fit with the job description.
2- Document some of the major projects you worked on thusfar in your job and your contributions.
2- Document the responsibilities that your new manager has taken away from you, or has now assigned to you, and your new opinion of the job fit with the job description.

Once you complete these tasks, the next time your manager takes away a responsibility or assigns something that you think is not part of your job, confront him very mildly in an inquisitive manner and ask him whether the job is being redesigned for newer responsibilities, and if so, you'd like to sit with him in length to discuss the changes. This will give him an idea that you're not someone to be taken for granted. You have to stand up for yourself, but do it gracefully. Again, take notes in your meeting and document them formally as well.

At this point, you're ready to take the next step, as to take your case to HR... this moreso, if you think you'll find employment in another company if you're let go. Ask HR to reassign you giving your reasons, starting with the fact that your job has been redesigned and you're not happy with the work you're being asked to do. If they probe further, then show them what you mean exactly... how things are different today compared to yesterday.

10

Either way whatever you decide, start networking now before you need/may need a job. Its a lifelong practice to build up your rolodex and populate it with people that you can help or will be able to help you later on in your life.

11

It is part of a manager's responsibility to develop you and make your working envoirmnet conducive to work.

You need to document the things he is saying as well as the people he says them infornt of - dates and quotes. It is unacceptable for him to speak to you in a manner that is demeaning.

If you are really in a position where you can afford to walk out of your job then you can challenge him. It is difficult to do but from experience I can say always challenge this behaviour - it makes you feel better and lets them know they can't get away with everything.

Either you can speak to him 1-2-1 and say you find his manner is not appropriate (not a good idea if he is totally vile)
You can speak to a union rep for professional confidential advice.
Get to know the policies and laws that govern the work place where you are.
Or You can take it higher - do not be afraid to do so.
Its difficult to do something about bullying but if you just leave without saying something it will always bug you and he would have won. Stand up to him and there is a possibility his behaviour may change.

12

sigh

:frowning: :frowning:

i was in a very similar position at this one job i was doing…and i just couldn’t, didn’t want to, deal with feeling bad anymore…so i quit… :frowning: i didn’t provide explanations either…i do look back at it sometimes and think maybe i overreacted, was too sensitive about the issue, or misjudged intentions of other parties involved :confused:

in your case though, i’d say, you might be taking things more seriously/personally than you should, and also don’t let what others say affect you, go and talk straight to your manager and discuss things with him and explain to him, in a very nice way, about how you feel…go out for lunch or coffee or something…

contacting HR won’t really help, because i doubt they will fire him over this, unless he said something blatantly bad and thus violated company laws, and it seems that hasn’t happenned…

if you just can’t take it anymore, switch departments or try to get under another manager

good luck