Hi Folks! This is a story with a touch of light comedy about Indian software
professionals in this land of opportunities. You will enjoy it if you have
seen PARDES. (Subhash Ghai’s hit Hindi film)
Doston ye kahanee shuru hoti hai Silicon valley se.
Shahrukh Khan & Apoorva Agnihotri are software consultants with a reputed
Indian firm and are on long term assignment to a US client. Amrish Puri is
the accounts manager, who is very upset because every consultant under his
account wants to leave for India after completing one year which is highly
unacceptable to him. Consultants give different reasons to leave for India,
so Apoorva also tells Amrish that he wants to get married to a girl ( Mahima
) in India but Amrish didn’t believe him and sends Apoorva with Shahrukh to
India so that Apoorva cannot ditch from there. They reach India and go to
Mahima’s place, Shahrukh soon becomes friendly with Mahima because Apoorva
doesn’t know Hindi very well.
Shahrukh : Apoorva ek bahut hi achha programmer hai, use sabhi appraisals me
EX mila hai aur uska bond bhi khatam hone waala hai.
Mahima : Kya wo COBOL programmer hai, kya wo mainframes par kaam karta hai,
kahin wo Y2K project par to nahi.
Shahrukh : Nahi, nahi, wo to ORACLE project par hai aur waahan sabhi log
uski bahut izzat karte hai.
Mahima : To fir us ki jeb me ye JCL ka printout kaise aaya.
Shahrukh : Oh ! ye printout , ye to mera hai, mai bhi soch raha tha ki
aakhir ye printout gaya kahan.
Mahima ( sings happily ) : Jahan piya, wahan mai, des chhudaya pardes
bulaya.
Apoorva wants Mahima to go alone with him so that they can know each other
well.
Apoorva : Chalo, kheton men ghoom kar aate hain.
Mahima : Mai maa se poochh kar aati hoon. ( Calls her mother ) " Maa mai
Apoorva ke saath kheton me jaaon".
Mother : Hai, hai kaisa zaamana aa gaya hai, ab ladkiyan shaadi se pahle
kheton me jaana chahti hain.
Shahrukh being a good friend of the duo brings a virtual reality package by
the help of which duo enjoyed one hour in khet.
Shahrukh sings : Do dil mil rahe hai, magar virtuality me. Sabko ho rahi hai
khabar virtuality me.
Mahima’s parents suggest that this is the first time somebody from there
family is getting married to a software consultant and that too working in
pardes , so it is better to get a demo version for 1 month first. If they
like it , then only they will pay for it.
So Mahima decides to go for a month. She along with Apoorva reaches US.
After coming here, while clearing off the almirah, Mahima gets some
photographs of Apoorva working on mainframes and doing documentation, she
comes to know that Apoorva is on mainframes only and he has a beeper too.
So, she goes to Shahrukh ( who is sharing apartment and car with Apoorva ).
Mahima : Tum ne to kaha tha ki Apoorva COBOL par kaam nahi karta, mainframes
par nahi hai. Maine tum par bharosa kar ke shaadi ke liye haan kee thee.
Shahrukh feels guilty and tries to better the situation. So, he talks to
Apoorva .
Shahrukh : Apoorva tum production support chhod kyon nahi dete, Mahima ko
akelapan mahsoos hota hai.
Apoorva : Ye hamara aapsi mamla hai, tum beech me dakhal mat do.
Apoorva takes Mahima to a friend’s party,
Shahrukh is also there installing
a package on the friend’s PC ( given by the client ).
Apoorva (showing the PC ): Mahima, ye computer hai, yehi hame rozi-roti deta
hai.
Mahima being a very religious girl wants to do some pooja for the computer,
she puts a tilak on the CPU and a pair of agarbattis in the floppy drive and
bangs a coconut on the monitor due to which the monitor goes in 2 pieces.
The guy owning the PC pulls Mahima’s duppatta in a hurry to tie the monitor
again to 1 piece, at which Mahima starts crying and Shahrukh beats the
owner.
Apoorva becomes very upset and he blames Mahima and Shahrukh for the
happening.
Its Shahrukh’s birthday, but Apoorva can’t make it because server is down
and he is busy trying to set it. Mahima becomes upset and she goes alone to
his celebration.
Meanwhile Shahrukh is singing : Zara virtuality se tu nikal ke saamne aa ,
meri mahbooba…,suddenly Mahima comes and sings with him, Shahrukh is
elated.
Amrish Puri smells that Shahrukh is getting too friendly with Mahima, so he
transfers Shahrukh to Florida to divert his attention.
Amrish : Shahrukh tumhara ek saal yahan poora ho gaya aur tum ab ORACLE
expert ho gaye ho , is liye mai chahta hoon ki tum INTERNET aur MULTIMEDIA
par apna kamaal dikhao. Jaao Florida jaao.
Shahrukh becomes very upset at first but as he begins to relish the charms
of Miami beach and wonders of Orlando , he begins to forget his past.
He becomes a new person. He sings " Ye dil , deewana , deewanaaaaaa hai ye
dil , Maine Silicon Valley chhoda, ORACLE project se naata toda, ab yahin pe
lagta hai mera dil."
Meanwhile , in Silicon valley , Apoorva works tirelessly on the abended jobs
and fixing bugs in the 70’s COBOL code. Mahima gets irritated with the noise
of the beeps which she hears daily at odd hours in night.
On a sunny weekend when the duo is planning to go on a long drive, suddenly
the beeper goes on again.
Apoorva ( booting the laptop ) : Mahima, zara mera IDMS error status manual
to dena.
Mahima ( throwing the manual on his head ) : Mai tang aa chuki hoon in
beepon se.
Apoorva , shocked by the impact of the heavy manual on his head starts
shouting .
Apoorva : Tumhe kya maloom mainframes kya hai, tumhare baap ne bhi kabhi
mainframe dekha tha.
Mahima hits him hard with the laptop 2-3 times on his head … THUD, THUD
THUD and shouts NISHACHAR !!! ( Nishachar is a guy who doesn’t sleep at
night )
Apoorva loses his consciousness, Mahima sends an e-mail to Shahrukh to meet
her at the airport and runs away to go back to India.
Shahrukh along with Mahima goes back to India at Mahima’s Home.
Apoorva sees the mail which Mahima has sent to Shahrukh and comes to know
that she has runaway with him.
Apoorva rings at Mahima’s Home and tells them about the truth.
Bauji ( with a sword in his hand ) : Kutte mai tera khoon pee jaunga.
After seeing the sword , Shahrukh hides under the bed.
Mahima : Bauji, mai isi se shaadi karungi, us COBOL programmer se nahi, uska
future me andhera hi andhera hai.
Maa : Aap bhi kaise baap hain, beti ki shaadi ek COBOL programmer se karna
chahte hain aur ye sab sunne ke baad bhi ki usko din-raat beeps aate rahte
hain. Mai beti ko kuen me dhakka de doongi par COBOL programmer se kabhi
shaadi nahi hone doongi.
After listening all this Shahrukh comes out from under the bed.
Shahrukh ( gaining some courage from the support ) : Bauji, meri aankhon me
dekhiye bauji, mai latest softwares me kaam karta hoon bauji.
Bauji gives Mahima’s hands in Shahrukh’s hand.