In daily discussions, specially on dining table, some people start talking about others who are not present (leading to back biting). At times few abusive words also come into play. Most of them know it is wrong but don’t realize while in a flow of discussion.
Inspite of requesting them alone, if the same mistake is repeated ( un intentionally) and no other elder bother to correct them, what would you do ?
Would you leave the place immediately ?
Straight away say. " Please don’t speak like this"
Try to change the topic and divert his/her attention. (which is not easy when someone is eating the flesh of his dead brother)
Or any other way. Kindly share if you think there is some way of Hikmah in dealing such matters, specially when dealing with elders.
Another way is to keep discussing the person but start sharing a good quality of that person.
But at the same time, you have to be careful before reacting. Every now and then, discussion might be according to shariah like informing others of someone's fitna or maybe discussing a marriage prospect in front of bride's family
Well said. It is better to take a look at the matter first before we take any action. At times when we start praising the person the reaction might become even more intense against the person whom we are trying to defend. That person might even have logical reasonings but still he is doing back biting.
It reminds me of the saying of Imam Ghazali. If you see a bad quality in a man, try to give your heart 100 excuses for proving (that the man is not bad by nature and might have so problems). And if your heart still doesn't gets satisfied, than curse your own heart for not getting satisfied even after 100 excuses were given to it.