my husband mashallah is not stingy, not with me anyway.
Well there's a big part of the answer right there. Your husband isn't like that. That's the most important bit. Focus on that.
I know it's hard to not be hurt when stuff like this happens, but try to remember that this rasm stuff is really not the point of the wedding...the point is that you marry someone you care about and are excited about the rest of your life. I'm going to assume that you care about your husband, he cares about you, and you are both excited about this wonderful new chapter in your lives. So concentrate on that. Forget the rest of it. Because it's not worth it dear. Rasms, gifts, who gave what to whom...all of it is unimportant when you weigh it against a lifetime with someone you care about. I realize it doesn't seem that way right now and it hurts, but everytime you have these thoughts - think about all the stuff that you DO have and try to put aside the stuff you don't. If you don't and confront your husband or his family about this, you risk a lot of arguments and bad feelings very early on in your married life...I'm not saying what they did is right. They're not at all right and this really isn't a nice thing to do to their son's wife. But you can't change them. All you can do is make sure YOU are behaving in a dignified manner.
Now, as for his mother and her not making an effort...again, I would advise you to forget about what other people are doing and concentrate on yourself. She's not talking to you? Fine. But YOU talk to her and try to draw her out in conversation. She's not spending time with you? Great. YOU take the initiative and spend time with her. Perhaps this will break her out of her shell and encourage her to spend more time with you. It may not. But at least you will have the satisfaction of knowing you tried and you can move on with your life with a clear conscience. Again, I'm not trying to excuse her behavior, but you can only control your own actions. You have no control over what others do.
I hope that helped. Good luck!