I know most ppl want settled guys/girls as their spouses. But what would you do in the even that you recieve proposal from a family for a boy that’s going to take 2-3 yrs to settle down (you have same committment)…but larkay aur family mein koi kharaabi nahi hai. In fact, acha rishta hai. Would you say no because of that or be willing to make it work even with the possibilty of dooriyan due to work/school for a while?
Re: Still waiting to get settled
I will suggest you to look for established guy.
Re: Still waiting to get settled
... In fact, acha rishta hai. Would you say no because of that or be willing to make it work even with the possibilty of dooriyan due to work/school for a while?
agar rishta achchhaa hai jaisa k aapne farmaayaa to phir aapko intizaar karnaa chaahiye kiuN k** "sabr kaa phal meeThaa"**** hotaa hai :)**
Re: Still waiting to get settled
I know most ppl want settled guys/girls as their spouses. But what would you do in the even that you recieve proposal from a family for a boy that's going to take 2-3 yrs to settle down (you have same committment)...but larkay aur family mein koi kharaabi nahi hai. In fact, acha rishta hai. Would you say no because of that or be willing to make it work even with the possibilty of dooriyan due to work/school for a while?
I would not make any formal commitment on a guy who's not settled yet. I would not mind keeping in touch with the family to see how things develop...but no engagement or baat paaki.
If a family is considering a guy who's so young that he's still in school or has not started on a career yet....that also means that the girl herlself is quite young........as in there's no "rush" for her to get engaged/married asap.
Continue looking.......there are guys out there who're "settled" and whose "family mein koi kharaabi nahi hai". :)
Re: Still waiting to get settled
I'd say 'no'.. unless I really liked him in which case I could wait it out..
Re: Still waiting to get settled
Its upto parents really. But I agree with one of the posts above that there should be no commitment, you can wait and see while considering other rishtas which come your way.
Re: Still waiting to get settled
The word ' settled ' has too many definitions .... depending on one's perception ...
and believe me you are never settled in your life - there is always something new to get done /go for ...
so it is a cliche basically ... and we fool ourselves around it .
Re: Still waiting to get settled
what do you have to offer??
Re: Still waiting to get settled
I wouldnt settle for such a long wait at any cost. I am not in favor of long engagements either because it just gets messy.
Re: Still waiting to get settled
I know most ppl want settled guys/girls as their spouses. But what would you do in the even that you recieve proposal from a family for a boy that's going to take 2-3 yrs to settle down (you have same committment)...but larkay aur family mein koi kharaabi nahi hai. In fact, acha rishta hai. Would you say no because of that or be willing to make it work even with the possibilty of dooriyan due to work/school for a while?
It depends. If the guy has an assured future in front of him, I'd say there's no harm in going ahead. (for example if he's in med school - doctor banane me kaafi saal lag jaate hai, but he is sure to make a good living at the end of it)
What is your situation? If you can work and support the family while he's getting settled, that will make things easier on you.
Re: Still waiting to get settled
It depends. If the guy has an assured future in front of him, I'd say there's no harm in going ahead. (for example if he's in med school - doctor banane me kaafi saal lag jaate hai, but he is sure to make a good living at the end of it) What is your situation? If you can work and support the family while he's getting settled, that will make things easier on you.
if that is the case, i will suggest you to wait for 2 years, but do some nikkah thingy first...
Re: Still waiting to get settled
It depends. If the guy has an assured future in front of him, I'd say there's no harm in going ahead. (for example if he's in med school - doctor banane me kaafi saal lag jaate hai, but he is sure to make a good living at the end of it) What is your situation? If you can work and support the family while he's getting settled, that will make things easier on you.
boy has a phD and I'm going to law school (in Fall iA). Problem is that my father believes that the boy will never find a job (yes, evne with a phD)....
Re: Still waiting to get settled
if he hasnt worked in the past and has a phD, then its gona be a problem. you father is right
Re: Still waiting to get settled
boy has a phD and I'm going to law school (in Fall iA). Problem is that my father believes that the boy will never find a job (yes, evne with a phD)....
1) Just b/c someone is going to medical or law school....that doesn't guarantee that after school, they will pass the necessary licensing exams AND find good jobs. My fiance is a M.D.....and trust me, I hear plenty of stories of people failing board exams after they finish school (when they have to re-take the exam, that delays their "career" at least by a year). I also know M.Ds who're done with residency/fellowship and are currently looking for a good job. Same with lawyers...I work in the legal field. Plenty of people who're done wtih law school, passed the bar, and are currently looking to get good jobs stable law firms (Lets not forget the people who do NOT pass the bar after law school!).
2) If the "boy" already has a PhD, then why doesn't he have a job right now? Why is there a rush to get engaged or nikaaed right now before he's settled financially?
As I mentioned before....if you really like this guy....there is nothing wrong is waiting and holding off on looking at other rishtas for a year or so. BUT do NOT make a commitment to this guy until he actually finds a job.
Re: Still waiting to get settled
I don't see what's wrong with getting married to someone that will be settled down in future. Hubby and I got married when both of us were finishing up school. He was finishing his masters and I was finishing up my 2nd bachelors degree. So many girls are after men that will provide them financial security that they ignore other important factors to make marriage work. Why not have your own financial security before you step into marriage. I don't see anything wrong with this rista if the family and guy is willing to make it work.
Re: Still waiting to get settled
Shahi mein Naseeb larki lay kar jati hay, Allah naseeb acha rakhe, larke ki Job ka hona Na hona, dil ko khush rakhne ke bahane hi hein.
Re: Still waiting to get settled
I don't see what's wrong with getting married to someone that will be settled down in future. Hubby and I got married when both of us were finishing up school. He was finishing his masters and I was finishing up my 2nd bachelors degree. So many girls are after men that will provide them financial security that they ignore other important factors to make marriage work. Why not have your own financial security before you step into marriage. I don't see anything wrong with this rista if the family and guy is willing to make it work.
I 100% agree with you on the red line. I think this applies to both guys and girls. Except in the OPs case, she's just now starting law school so she herself does not have financial security.
I don't think there's anything "wrong" with getting married to someone who will be settled in the future. BUT....why take that risk? I agree that there are MULTIPLE factors that make marriage work....but financial stability is 1 of those major factors that has the potential to destroy a marraige (or at least make it very miserable).
A successful/stable marriage is hard enough.....looking at the divorce rate these days....many people give up. Life after marraige gets harder in terms of stress/responsibility (especially once children come in). Why not wait and begin marriage with the least amount of "stress factors" as possible?
Re: Still waiting to get settled
Somebody using my logo faints
Re: Still waiting to get settled
Oh please, what does "settled" mean anyways -- most likely it means being tethered to job and reliant on a paycheck...having some mortgaged, car payments and all that nonsense.
Heck, even entrepreneurs are days away from going bankrupt. What happens when the business fails or he loses the job?
To me financial security means having enough monthly cash flow to NOT have to work a day in your life and still be comfortable. Instead of pushing a Maserati owned by the bank, driving a proper 5 series., instead of owning some mansion with taxes in the 5 figures, living in paid off decent house or a well located condo. Living comfortably but not the high life.
I'm talking about this because I have worked towards the goal of financial independence and it takes MANY years and disciplined savings to get there - so cut these potential rishta guys some slack.
Re: Still waiting to get settled
Oh please, what does "settled" mean anyways -- most likely it means being tethered to job and reliant on a paycheck...having some mortgaged, car payments and all that nonsense.
Heck, even entrepreneurs are days away from going bankrupt. What happens when the business fails or he loses the job?
To me financial security means having enough monthly cash flow to NOT have to work a day in your life and still be comfortable. Instead of pushing a Maserati owned by the bank, driving a proper 5 series., instead of owning some mansion with taxes in the 5 figures, living in paid off decent house or a well located condo. Living comfortably but not the high life.
I'm talking about this because I have worked towards the goal of financial independence and it takes MANY years and disciplined savings to get there - so cut these potential rishta guys some slack.
This doesnt happen very often but....I do agree with you.