I think this is an interesting topic as there are many blended families these days, even in our desi community.
Have any of you experienced living in a blended family, with step-parents or half brothers/sisters?
What did you call your step parent if they were a regular part of your daily life? I’ve read on other forums, that children shouldn’t be expected to call the step-parent ‘Mom’ or ‘Dad’, and rather call them by their first name only. It’s a tad bit difficult for that to happen in our culture, as we put high priority on children respecting their elders. For a child to call an elder by their first name, is not very respectful.
Do you know of any families like this, and what do they call their step parents?
My cousins have a step mom, and there's no way you can tell that she isn't their real mother. They respect her like one, and she loves them like her own. They've always called her "ammi".
I also had these family friends while growing up. The kids called aunty "ammi", but the oldest one pretty much hated her, but she got along fine with her 2 half sisters.
I doubt that kids would call their step mother/father by their first name in our culture. Majority that I've seen would say "mom/ammi" or "dad/abbu", etc.
I used to call my Step Monster 'Bhaji' as she refused to let us call her 'Ammi'. As for the half sibling...well, for some reason I was never able to accept him as being one of my siblings. I cared for him as a child, but not as a half brother. I had a very Disney filled life with my Step Monster. God bless her (Disney reference...Snow White's Step Monster + Cinderella's Step Monster all rolled into 1 with a desi twist :) ).
Children should call their step parent whatever they are comfortable calling them (as long as it is respectful). Its hard enough having to accept another parental figure in their life let alone being forced to call them something they dont want to.
In the meantime...the step parent can always tell them what they would like to hear without imposing it on them. Eventually they may start to feel comfortable enough to call them mom/dad/ammi/abu..but let them do it on their own and when they are ready.
Children should call their step parent whatever they are comfortable calling them (as long as it is respectful). Its hard enough having to accept another parental figure in their life let alone being forced to call them something they dont want to.
In the meantime...the step parent can always tell them what they would like to hear without imposing it on them. Eventually they may start to feel comfortable enough to call them mom/dad/ammi/abu..but let them do it on their own and when they are ready.
thanks for all your input guys!
and AE, i agree that it should be up to the child to decide on what to call their step parent whatever they are comfortable with.
now let's say the biological dad/mom are against their child calling the step parent 'ammi', 'abu'..whatever the case may be, even though the child is totally comfortable with it, and is not bothered by it. how would you get around something like that?
I know someone and in her case she prefers not being called a mom/aunt/baji or anything related, just her name. The child is too young to be bothered or I think even understand at this point.