Is it possible to open someone up who comes across as quiet and boring in Rishta meetings? Obviously not everyone can be chatty and gregarious but when the person just answrs questions as briefly as possible and doesn’t attempt to make any conversation they can come across as aloof and uninterested which is a hindrance in the rishta process where the decision on whether to proceed with further talk will be based on the impression made in the first meeting. One on one with the prospect they do ok but in a group conversation with the family they are totally silent unless they need to reply to a question to the point it’s perceived as odd. The person in question has a group of close friends so one would assume they are capable of being part of group conversations, however having said that they seem to take very little interest in anything in life other than their group of friends and don’t engage in making conversation with their own family. Any advice appreciated.
Re: Staying Quiet During Rishta Meetings
Rishta settings are awkward and the unspoken rule is the less you talk the better off you are. People tend to make mistakes out of nervousness so choose to stay quiet rather than embarrass themselves and make the WRONG impression on someone. That’s what parents will tell us anyway so its possible they’re just doing what mom and dad asked them to do in order to make a good impression.
If you want him to talk more, you have to change the setting a bit. Make it more casual and try to get someone who can break the ice with the guy and get him to talk more since obviously it’d be considered too forward for the female to do so.
Re: Staying Quiet During Rishta Meetings
Sure, I totally get that Rishta settings are awkward. Not expecting this person to be some motormouth or anything just feel they should be making some contribution to the conversation. Being overly talkative can give off its own bad impression but being silent is not good either. You need to show you have some kind of personality, show you’re interestrd and also friendly.
The problem with this person is that even in casual settings this person is not very communicative with their own family. Everyone will be talking at the dinner table and this person is generally silent. If asked they may say a word or two bt there’s no active engagement.
By the way I’m not talking about my observation of some rishta that is being considered. The said person is someone I know and I want to help them.
Re: Staying Quiet During Rishta Meetings
They may just be socially awkward…in which case they need to confidence to be able to speak.
I’d suggest getting involved in your local Toastmaster’s type groups.
Re: Staying Quiet During Rishta Meetings
I know someone like this. Extremely withdrawn and quiet with family but totally friendly and talkative in friends setting. Don’t try to bring out any change, the potential rishtay Wala should know what they are in for. Some people can handle a quiet husband and understand his reasons. Others might drive themselves crazy over it. Better to know his personality upfront.
Re: Staying Quiet During Rishta Meetings
My husband is the quiet sort…not really social and would prefer to do just do his own thing any day of the week than be around people.
I think the trick is to find out their interests: what gets them talking.
Re: Staying Quiet During Rishta Meetings
My sisters wedding events took place last week - had relatives from up north as well as Canada, the states, dubai etc fly over. I’m exactly the same - tend to be quiet in familial group settings yet the centre of attention/go to person at work and socially. Had a lot of people asking why I was quiet during sis’s wedding - they thought I was upset she was leaving (far from it! That’s a joke by the way). I just don’t enjoy the paindooness of family, even if they are all lahoris by origin.