Re: Stay at Home Wives/Mothers and Spending Money
My bad!
Re: Stay at Home Wives/Mothers and Spending Money
I don't save away all of my children's gift money anymore, like I did when they were babies. Since they are getting older, and can understand about spending vs saving, we now let them decide what they want to do with it (buy things seperately, or pool it together for a big ticket item)..usually after eid, they end up each getting a lego set of their choice (go figure!) with their eidi and then the rest of the cash I stash away somewhere and let them think about what they want to do it. We talk to them about the importance of charity/zakat, and like for them to donate with their own hands. There are always silly fundraisers and book fairs going on at school, so I'll tell them if they want to buy all those lego sticker books they can spend their "own money".
They are now wanting to pool their gift money and allowance and buy an XBox Kinect.
As far as saving for their education, my husband and I have a slightly different approach to that. We have 2 investment properties, and then our house we are living in (total of 3 properties) as well as a flat my husband bought with his mom in Khi which we have earmarked for each of the boys. Both houses here in Dallas are rented out with good solid tenants, and the one we are living in is almost completely paid off and will become a rental property as well once I'm ready to move to another house. Those right there are their education funds and hopefully our retirement. And actually, (I am fully ready for the backlash I may get for saying this) I'm not absolutely sure that my husband and I will be completely paying for/bank rolling their education. We both put ourselves through school, and I'm absolutely grateful for the fact that my husband is a self made man. It's wonderful example for the boys to learn from. I've been toying around with the thought of establishing trusts for them vs automatically paying for their college. I'd like to think that they'll be smart enough in their studies to earn scholarships and such....I don't know, when the time comes, we'll see! Ok, enough derailing.....
Everyone has their different spending/saving philosophies. What works for one family may not work for another. I don't want to pass judgement on parents who may spend their children's "gift money" because I don't know what that familie's circumstances are.
Re: Stay at Home Wives/Mothers and Spending Money
Ok maybe I was harsh I admit that but I feel what’s given to the kid should go to the kid/towards their savings etc…I don’t think that have a right to whatever their little children get.
I’ve heard of far too many parents who take whatever their kids get and either give it away to another child, which I think is super mean.
but then I’ve given gift cards and found out that they bought diapers or other essentials for the kid, and I didn’t think there was anything wrong with that either so…:shrugs:
Re: Stay at Home Wives/Mothers and Spending Money
You’re right Sara…using your kid’s Eidi to by yourself makeup at Sephora is shady, but I’d be lying if I said I’ve never grabbed a $10 bill out of Ammar’s envelope when I was running late and didn’t have time to stop at the ATM, so I guess it’s all subjective?
And when we had 3 kids in two years, all 3 in diapers at the same time, and formula to buy for the twins I will admit without shame that we most definitely used gift cards for those items!
Re: Stay at Home Wives/Mothers and Spending Money
For the latter, I see nothing wrong with that...so uhhh I guess im contradicting my inital post. Oh well :D
but the first example, kid's Eidee funding your shopping sprees... that ain't cool.
Re: Stay at Home Wives/Mothers and Spending Money
^ I getchya doll! 
Re: Stay at Home Wives/Mothers and Spending Money
I spend my son's money all the time :D.. But I only forward gifts that he just can't wear/have. Someone gave me 12 month clothes at his first birthday... perfect right.. well my son wears 18 month .. I end up giving such gifts to other peopel who may need it.
Re: Stay at Home Wives/Mothers and Spending Money
*
Re: Stay at Home Wives/Mothers and Spending Money
^ This is indeed a rather strange setup. So you have no idea how much your husband is saving or what assets he has?
Is it wrong for SAHMs to use their children's child care benefits for themselves? Like their mani pedi haircuts and general pampering?
Re: Stay at Home Wives/Mothers and Spending Money
Is it wrong for SAHMs to use their children's child care benefits for themselves? Like their mani pedi haircuts and general pampering?
hmm I dont think so.. Thats not specificaly for the child, but the family unit nahin?
Re: Stay at Home Wives/Mothers and Spending Money
^ This is indeed a rather strange setup. So you have no idea how much your husband is saving or what assets he has?
savings/earning = no
assets = yes
Re: Stay at Home Wives/Mothers and Spending Money
removed on OP's request
Your husband doesn't works in the government, does he? ;)
Re: Stay at Home Wives/Mothers and Spending Money
interesting setup
removed on OP's request
Re: Stay at Home Wives/Mothers and Spending Money
*
Re: Stay at Home Wives/Mothers and Spending Money
.
Re: Stay at Home Wives/Mothers and Spending Money
I think you’re too lenient with him. NO ONE in this world (husband included) will show you respect if you allow them to disrespect you. Something in your personality made your hubby believe that it’s ok to make negative comments about him having to pay your debt (a situation he voluntarily entered). And based on how you’ve been reacting to him so far…he obviously believes its ok to continue making you feel guilty about it. Put your foot down woman!