Re: Stay At Home Dads
@khattichic Well, my wife DOES make more money than me and we just recently moved across the country so that she could find a better job as she technically has a more lucrative career. I have also provided primary care to our daughter, but I was a stay at home dad for only about 6 months and I did continue to work from home.
With that said, I don’t think I could be a full time stay at home dad, not because of “Log kya kahain ge” or the stigma, but because I know my kid would drive me bat-$hit crazy if I had to spend every minute of every hour with her. Secondly, I’m the kind of person who needs to DO something. If I wasn’t working, I’d do projects, I’d build things.
As far as the stigma, listen, desis will mock you no matter what, you have no idea how many of my Pakistani acquaintances constantly mock me and say “Tumhari to biwi kamaati hai, tum kyooN kaam karte ho?”, it is their way of trying to put me down, but I don’t really care. If you want to really talk about it, then remember, that the Prophet’s wife was the breadwinner in their relationship, Khadija was the business owner and he worked FOR her. So there’s no shame there.
I just go with the flow, God gives in exact measure and if He decided to give my wife more, then know that He is the best planner. I’m also blessed enough to be married to a woman who regardless of the fact that she makes about 3x more money than me, asks ME before she spends it and is always the first to remind me that I’m the captain of the ship and that we make decisions together. It is God’s mercy on us that we have NEVER, in 15 years of marriage, fought over money. I think that a big part of that is because we got married young and grew together through bad times and good.
Subhanallah. If only there were more men who thought like you. May Allah bless you and your wife together and place more love, understanding and mercy between you. And may He shower His peace, mercy and blessings upon you both and your children, keep you all on the straight path and grant you every good thing in this world and hereafter. Ameen.
