Status of Mother

At the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him), there was a young man named Alqamah. He was very diligent in obeying Allah by engaging in prayer and fasting and spending in charity. Then he fell ill and his illness became serious. His wife went to the Prophet and said, **”My husband, Alqamah, is on his deathbed. I therefore came to tell you, Messenger of Allah, about his condition.” **

The Prophet (then) sent for Ammar or Suhaib and Bilal, and told them to go to him (Alqamah) and have him repeat the Shahadah. Thereupon they went to him and found him in the agony of death. They asked him to say, “La illaha illa Allah,” but his tongue was unable to pronounce it. At that, they came and told the Messenger of Allah that he was unable to repeat the Shahadah.

The Prophet asked, “Is either of his parents alive?” He was told, “Messenger of Allah, his mother is, but she is very old.” The Prophet sent her a message that if it was convenient for her (that is, is she was able to go out), she should come to him; otherwise she should stay in her house and the Prophet would come to her.

The Prophet’s messenger came to her and informed her of the Prophet’s message. She said,** “May my life be a ransom for him, it is my pleasure to go to him!”** She then stood up, leaning on her walking stick, and came to the Prophet and greeted him. The Prophet returned her greeting and said to her, “Umm Alqamah, tell me the truth, for otherwise Allah Most High will reveal the truth to me! What is the situation concerning your son, Alqamah?” She replied, **“Messenger of Allah, he prays much, fasts a great deal, and spends a great amount in charity.” **

The Prophet said,** “And what about yourself?” **She said, “Messenger of Allah, I am angry with him.” He said, “Why?” She replied, “Messenger of Allah, he has preferred his wife to me and has disobeyed me.” When the Prophet (saw) asked her if she would forgive her son, she denied.Then Allah’s Messenger said, “Umm Alqamah, surely your anger has prevented Alqamah’s tongue from pronouncing the Shahadah.”

He then turned to Bilal and said, “Bilal, go out and collect a quantity of firewood.” She said, “Messenger of Allah, what do you plan to do?” He replied, **“I will burn him in front of your eyes.” She said, “Messenger of Allah, he is my son! My heart cannot bear your burning him in front of me!” He said, “Umm Alqamah, Allah’s punishment is more severe and more lasting! Therefore, if you want Allah to forgive him, be reconciled to him. **

By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, the prayer, fasting, and spending in charity (which he has done) are of no benefit to Alqamah as long as you are angry with him! Thereupon she said, “Messenger of Allah, I call upon Allah Most High and His angels and the Muslims who are present to be my witnesses that I am pleased with my son Alqamah.”

Allah’s Messenger said, “Bilal, go to him and see whether he is now able to say, “La illaha illa Allah” or not. It may be that Umm Alqamah is saying something for my sake which is not in her heart.”

Thereupon Bilal went, and while entering the door he heard Alqamah saying, “La illaha illa Allah.” (Concerning this), Bilal remarked, “It is surely true that while Alqamah’s mother was angry with him his tongue was tied, and now that she is pleased with him his tongue is freed.”

Alqamah died the same day. The Prophet came to him and gave the order for his washing and shrouding, and then prayed the funeral prayer for him and buried him. He then stood by the side of his grave and said, “You company of Muhajireen and Helpers, if anyone favors his wife over his mother, Allah and His angels and all the people curse him! Allah does not accept his spending (in charity) and his uprightness unless he repents toward Allah, the Glorious and Majestic, and reconciles with her and attains her pleasure, because Allah’s pleasure consists in her pleasure and Allah’s anger consists in her anger.”

Source: Reported in Tabarani and Ahmed

We must always be respectful and obedient to our parents. However, we are not to obey them if they order us to disobey Allah and His Prophet. Other than this, they deserve our utmost attention and respect.

Re: Status of Mother

Thankyou for posting this...sometimes we tend to forget..Jazakallah khairun!

Re: Status of Mother

tfs! no doubt parents should be respected, loved and cared for. However i didnt know there were really some strict rules in Quran regarding their respect, which whe i heard from Dr. Israr's audio cassette i was kinda surprised. But too bad in nowadays times children dont even given basic respect to their parents and once they get married than its tata bye bye to their parents and siblings.

Re: Status of Mother

thank you for sharing. Woww!

Re: Status of Mother

what if parents tend to misuse this position?

Re: Status of Mother

^ Even in that case, the children are told not to misbehave with them but to deal with them with wisdom (Hikmah) and politely develop with them understanding through logical reasoning and sincerity. They have a right to be rude with us, but we don't have any right to reply rudely.

There are so many related hadiths. I remember a scholars mentioning that children are ordered to keep their voice low in front of parents and behave as obediently as servants. A person asked the Prophet (saw), " Have I paid back my mother's favors by helping her do Haj while carrying her myself throughout the haj ?" (as she could not walk herself)

The Prophet (saw) replied, " You have not even returned the favor of the first drop of milk which she fed you"

The Prophet Moses (Hazrat Musa a.s) asked Allah (swt) *"Everyone would have a companion in the heaven, who is my companion ?"
*
Allah (swt) replied, *" A butcher" *

Hazrat Musa (r.a) was surprised that a butcher can be a companion of a prophet in heaven. He went to meet that person and saw him helping his old mother in daily life matters. While he was feeding her and serving her, she was murmuring something. The man (who didnt know he was talking to Musa a.s.) thought she was not educated enough to say anything like that, but when Musa (a.s) insisted to him to tell him what she was saying, he said " She is saying 'May Allah (swt) make you a companion of Musa (a.s) in the heaven. How is it possible that a butcher and a prophet become companion in Jannah"

The Prophet Mohammad (s.a.w) used to say, *I wish my mother were alive, and I could get a chance to serve her, even if she had called my name while I were praying Isha namaz, I would have left my namaz to first listen to her and then continue my namaz *

Re: Status of Mother

The only time children are allowed/permitted to disobey their parents is when parents ask children for something 'GAIR SHARAYEE' --- something that conflicts with Quran and Ahadees...

Re: Status of Mother

BTW, don't we have a separate forum for these kind of threads called Religion and something...

Re: Status of Mother

^ Yes brother we have it, you are totally right. As we consider Islam to be a complete way of life, at times I do get carried away by sharing some incidents which (in my personal opinion which can be wrong) acts as a sources of guidance for us in daily life. But I agree that at times it might not be appropriate to share them in Life 1 forum. Though a few times I have said it before as well, I humbly request the Life 1 forum mods to kindly move any of my threads to R&S if they feel it is appropriate to do so. I would be really thankful to them if any of them sincerely feel the need to do so and act upon what they feel they should do. They have always been very kind to me, but never were my intentions to violate the rules of this forum. My personal judgment of a topic's category can be wrong.

p.s. I would have moved this thread myself in respect of your (or any other member's) correct judgment if I were able to do so, but unfortunately it is not in my control, thus I request mods to kindly move it to R&S for your convenience. JazakAllah khair for your kind input, which is very much appreciated. I would inshaAllah be more careful in terms of selection of topics for any particular forum.

I have no problem this being here or anywhere, I mentioned this only because few people visit certain forums only and in that case, many in R&S would miss the wise posts.