Staring problem

Falak_Ali · November 7, 2012, 4:28am

Re: Staring problem

Thanks for the suggestions, everyone.
An abaya might help, I agree, but the thing is, no one in my family wears one. So it would be weird if out of the whole group, I am the only one in a burqa.

Falak, there is nothing improper about an abaya. It’s a symbol of modesty and haya. But maybe in certain parts of Pakistan, it is associated with something else … like how religious you are. I find that when you go back, people there scrutinize your every move…like what you eat, when you get up, how you walk and talk, and especially how you dress, etc. I wear shalwar kameez in shopping malls in Canada too, and don’t feel self-conscious about it. Toronto is so multicultural. No one really cares. But if I were to wear a burqa in Pakistan, a few relatives would say oh Canada main tu itni modern ke jeans pehenti hai, dupatta ke bagher baahir jaati hai, aur yahan dekho, sati-saawitri bani phir rahi hai, humein dikhaane ke liye. I don’t really want to go down that road.
And before you guys start bombarding me with criticism that who cares what others say, well, I
care…and my mom cares a whole lot more.

I do take dupatta on my head when I go out in Pak. Maybe I’ll switch to a chaadar and make sure there is a guy in the group when we go out.

A chaddar would definitely help. You can even use it as a niqab, and say the streets are too dusty so you are covering your face. That’s the excuse I thought of in case someone did ask from the family.
Some Advice: Whatever happens, do not stare back. Go on about your own business. Look at what you need, take it, and leave.

True!