Perhaps my point needs to be emphasised a bit more ... It is not important that we get our du'a accepted ... What is important is that we spend our time doing du'a ... And if it gets accepted, we should find something else to ask quickly so we can return back to a state of neediness with Allah (SWT) ...
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Psyah Bhai....aap fikar na karain. I understood from your last post that the connection with Allah is more important than the fulfillment of dua. I got it. I, however, am spiritually not at that stage. I was only trying to analyze dua a bit more; that's all.
I just read a story online about this Christian woman who was having trouble conceiving her third child. In the beginning the prayers contained more faith and concentration. But with the passage of time, her prayers became more like a motion that she was just going through...because she doubted that God would fulfill her wish. She remembered all those times in the past where she so desperately prayed for something and it wasn't granted. So, she concluded that the things she desires most are never in accordance with God's will. She gave up on praying. So, one day she shared her feelings with her spiritual adviser who told her to continue praying and be specific in what she wants ...to pour out her heart to God....but to be prepared for any answer from Him. She started doing that. At first she specifically asked for what she wanted. As time progressed she opened up even more to God....and then she reached that stage where her heart only desired whatever God's will for her was. She felt relaxed, and she had stopped stressing out over her situation. It was at this stage that she discovered she was pregnant. She says that persistent asking and talking to God is what made her heart want to desire His will or raza.
Has anyone had the same experience? Usually persistence in dua that doesn't yield results makes us angry. But has anyone had the opposite experience? Where it brought you closer to Allah and over time changed your heart to where it went from seeking your own desires to seeking only Allah's will? We hear of prophets and sufi figures going thru this. But has anyone here been thru this?
Also, I wish the Religion forum had a thread on Dua Stories or Stories of Tawakkul....where people would share their own personal experiences that can inspire others. But sadly, I don't think such threads would receive many responses.....as they might if they were placed in Life1...which tends to have more traffic than Religion and All Views.
I can totally relate to the experience of the Christian woman you mentioned ... The greatest realisation in this world is to know that Allah (SWT) Loves us and caters for our needs better than us. So to pray for what we want is jaiz and praiseworthy ... but to accept the decision of Allah (SWT) and love that decision is the ultimate goal of the slave.
Think of the slave in the king's palace ... and think of the subject who visits the king ... the subject asks the king for a grant and makes an offering and the king denies the grant ... the subject leaves with respect but feels remorse and pain. But when the slave asks from the king and the king denies it the true slave will say "thank your sire for your decision" - out of these two the subject lives far from the king and the slave lives near to the king and subject has to be striving more and the slave has his needs catered for ... We need to recognise that the true maqam of the slave is to not just accept the Will of God but to love it ...
A Sufi Shaykh known by my own Shaykh used to be very pious and he seldomed smiled he was quite stern ... he had a beautiful son and he really pious and one day his son died ... And on that day this Shaykh was smiling ... And the question that the other ulema asked was that they would see him very stern most of the time but the day his pious son dies he smiles ... why? He answered them "because Allah (SWT) Loved for Himself (i.e. took to Himself) what he (the Shyakh) loved" ... The amazing fortitude of thought that even in the demise of his heir and son he could see the situation positively ... and used that as an opportunity to get closer to Allah (SWT).
Whatever your situation sister ... there is a way out inshaAllah ... perhaps your time will come ... and openings come in their own time ... and du'as are granted in their own time or not in the way that is desired ...
Abu Mansur Al-Hallaj supplicated ... "O Allah, be for me as You were for me, before I was" ... that means before we were born, before our creation, we were part of the plan of Allah (SWT) ... so this du'a is saying - Allah (SWT) is the Best Well-Wisher for us - we were designed to be heaven dwellers and we have fitrah and all we need to be able to do is to happily function in accordance with our design purpose.
I have personally been affected ... "I pray that Allah (SWT) gives me what I ask Him for, but I also add that if it is better for me not to have it, then I do not know what He Allah (SWT) Knows and then I supplement my du'a with another du'a ... And if it must be that the opposite of what I ask is meant for me then give me tawfiq to understand it and accept it and love You for it."
But there are ways to ask and azkar that can be done for most things ... there are ways to achieve du'as too and in ways that can make up for our weaknesses ...
Almost in contradiction - we can do mannat and perform duties to facilitate the du'a ... it shows how desperately we want the thing ... Karamaat - is a miracle which happens to a person who is in the least capable position to do anything about it - but at the same time supplicates the most earnestly for it ... We need to prove to ourselves that what we are asking for - Is it really and truly better for us? If we find there is a potential avenue that we can bring harm on ourselves from the acceptance of this du'a then to cater for it ... we must ensure that we also promise to - not get arrogant if our du'a is for wealth or position not to show off - not to forget the favour of Allah (SWT) after getting the fulfilment ... We need to ask ourselves - how earnestly can we ask while completely accepting a contradictory decision? Make each du'a even more earnest than the past one and make each non-acceptance of it more delicious to your soul than the previous ...
This is the mechanism of reaching karamat inshaAllah ...