So, I want to marry a guy who’ll love me just as much as my dad loves me…whehter it be arranged or not. Is this too much to ask for?
in a weird freudian way.. NO it isnt too much to ask for.
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*Originally posted by suroor_ca02: *
in a weird freudian way.. NO it isnt too much to ask for.
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um...okay i shud elaborate...it isn't freudian...
my dad loves me a lot
he'd do anything for me....our family's gone through some crap hte last few years, but he never complains about it...he takes things in stride and stuff...since he had his heart attack last year, he doens't stress even though we got a lot more to stress about now...
he's the chillest , coolest guy i know..i lost my ipod and he was like "oh well, you lernt ur lesson." .we've had our troubles but we're past them now :)
no its not.. if guys would like ot marry someone whose like their mum then u have every right to as well
dads always say the nicest things.. but u gotta remember, it comes with time and also with the type of relationship..
with a guy, you gotta let him mature.. it takes time
It's totally Freudian. Since your dad is the main male role model you've had in your personal lie, you wish for a life partner with his characteristics because subconsciously you think the ideal guy would be like your male role model ie your dad.
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*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
no its not.. if guys would like ot marry someone whose like their mum then u have every right to as well
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yeah
I was talkin to my firends today, and this girl, she's younger than me but she's engaged (has her nikkah, whatever) and she put it this way: "girls play wiht a toy called expectations, and when that toy breaks, [all hell breaks loose]." ...something to that effect....
so why shudnt we have standards and expectations? whats' wrong wit that?
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*Originally posted by mAd_ScIeNtIsT: *
It's totally Freudian. Since your dad is the main male role model you've had in your personal lie, you wish for a life partner with his characteristics because subconsciously you think the ideal guy would be like your male role model ie your dad.
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so? lol
aren't guys like that too? don't most of them want someone who's like thier mother? is that freudian??
there's lots of things my dad's done that if my husband did, i'd leave him....i always said "i'd never marry a man like my dad"...but i do know, that my dad loves me more than anything...he'd do anything for me....
im not saying that I'd want my husband to treat me like a little girl coz I coudn't necessarily tolerate that sort of treatment from my husband...maybe it's contradictory , but i think u shud treat each other like equals...not like a little boy/little girl..
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*Originally posted by Sara516: *
yeah
I was talkin to my firends today, and this girl, she's younger than me but she's engaged (has her nikkah, whatever) and she put it this way: "girls play wiht a toy called expectations, and when that toy breaks, [all hell breaks loose]." ...something to that effect....
so why shudnt we have standards and expectations? whats' wrong wit that?
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mate eveyone has expectations.. regardless of age and gender. The difference is how u deal with them breaking.. if ur gonna cause a havoc when things dont go as planned.. then u really dont deserve the person in the first place..
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*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
mate eveyone has expectations.. regardless of age and gender. The difference is how u deal with them breaking.. if ur gonna cause a havoc when things dont go as planned.. then u really dont deserve the person in the first place..
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yeah,...but i guess what i meant was that is there anything wrong with having certain fixed standards and expectations, that you could never budge on no matter what?
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*Originally posted by Sara516: *
yeah,...but i guess what i meant was that is there anything wrong with having certain fixed standards and expectations, that you could never budge on no matter what?
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depends what those standards and expectations are..
if its about the way he dresses or i duno the way he does his hair.. then thats kinda retarded
if its to do with morals and religious values, then i guess not
b/w u said that if ur hubby did some things that ur dad has done, u'd leave him... but why? i mean shouldnt ur hubby be given just as much consideration? we all have faults.. but with the right support and encouragement, things can be improved
also, everyone has a different way of loving u.. ur hubby would prob do anythign for u too...
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*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
depends what those standards and expectations are..
if its about the way he dresses or i duno the way he does his hair.. then thats kinda retarded
if its to do with morals and religious values, then i guess not
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pssshhhh believe me there's girls who are like "he has to look like this and make $$ money and drive this" and yeah it's totally retarded and dumb...and i think if he ends up being a jerk or watever, a girl like that deserves him
but ea i meant morals and values and otehr things like what i stated in my initial post :)
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*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
depends what those standards and expectations are..
if its about the way he dresses or i duno the way he does his hair.. then thats kinda retarded
if its to do with morals and religious values, then i guess not
b/w u said that if ur hubby did some things that ur dad has done, u'd leave him... but why? i mean shouldnt ur hubby be given just as much consideration? we all have faults.. but with the right support and encouragement, things can be improved
also, everyone has a different way of loving u.. ur hubby would prob do anythign for u too...
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Well I don't really want to say what exactly has happened..but I"m not my mother...I don't want to say she made the wrong decision, coz what happened has happened...but if I were ever in the same situation, I don't think i'dm ake the same choices....
And yeah that's what I initially meant...of course my hubby'll show me love in different ways....but just the consideration, the care, the love has to be there...how it's shown is another story
^ no morals shouldnt be compromised on... especially if u believe in them fully...
but, id like to say that, u become more lenient as time goes by... i think so neways. Ive seen it happen to a lot of guys and gals who were very headstrong about what kinda guy/gal they wanted to end up with... as u grow older, i think u realise that these things really arent that important.. cus really, you can like someone without even wanting to (how corny am i!!)
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*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
^ no morals shouldnt be compromised on... especially if u believe in them fully...
but, id like to say that, u become more lenient as time goes by... i think so neways. Ive seen it happen to a lot of guys and gals who were very headstrong about what kinda guy/gal they wanted to end up with... as u grow older, i think u realise that these things really arent that important.. cus really, you can like someone without even wanting to (how corny am i!!)
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heheh, not corny...
i think my expectations are fine...i'm nto gonna list em all here, but they dont' have anything to do with clothing or looks or whatnot :)
:) i personally think, too many expectations arent good for ur health.. its good to know what you want.. but keeping it all sane is the way to go
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*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
:) i personally think, too many expectations arent good for ur health.. its good to know what you want.. but keeping it all sane is the way to go
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Theyr'e enough...not too many, not too low
so untrue 
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*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
no its not.. if guys would like ot marry someone whose like their mum
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Why does that always happen...I swear all guys value their mothers so much, moreso than girls do...why is that? I mean there have been so many guys who always talk about their mom..its not a bad thing but their is sometime of connection that I don't get..
^ hmm is there anything wrong with a guy valueing his mum above all things? it shows that he's caring more than anything...
r u saying that guys value their mothers more than their wives or more than daughters value their mothers? if u mean the latter, i think thats just ur assumption.. i would never say that i love my mum more than my bro or the other way around.. theres jsut different ways of showing it..
everyone has a connection to their mums.. its just natural. And for guys.. i dunno i guess shes the first woman who would drop everything to be by her sons side during chaos or happiness... hence, naturally the love for her exists
A husband IS like your father in a way. He earns money for you and your home, gets you whatever you want (sometimes not whatever you want), he makes you feel secure, raises your children etc etc. So obviously he DOES love you just like your dad. In a way, it does sound impossible coz no one can love you like your parents do. Do you think it's easy to judge the love you're getting by your hubby or father? I mean, you can't compare it. But you know one of the best feelings when you are with your husband is when you feel so secure with him and also comfortable. It's just too "sweet". I don't know why but I look forward to feeling comfortable with people I meet everyday but it doesn't happen much. It's hard to find someone like that. I hope and pray that you would.