Re: spouse understanding partner's extra marital affair
Guys don't think about their wives feelings or opinions when they cheat. It's like a invisible blindfold is put on their eyes and then no repercussions are thought of prior to the affair. It happens in a dizzying frenzy of carnal lust. I don't think it makes a difference even after one is confronted about the affair. They'd probably lie about it and pretend their all fine but back in the recesses of the mind there occurs more dubious plans to cheat and find "more" love. I guess that's just how the brain functions.
"Hope this answers the sister's question"..
the question isnt about the wives feeling when they cheat but ratehr the expectations to be understanding when they confess they 'had' an affair.
Re: spouse understanding partner's extra marital affair
I am gonna try this today when I reach home. I have script ready
"Janu tum samjhti keyun nahi ho. Thora understand karoo. Anila meri zarorat nahi, meri majboori hai. No one in the world understands me better than you. I hope tum iss baat ko bhi samjhoo gi. Aur please yee duppata sar sai leya karoo."
and I'll let you know about her reaction tomorrow.
"reaction"? or the address to the hospital you are admitted in?
Re: spouse understanding partner's extra marital affair
Sorry this is not quite on topic.
One of my closest friend's ( a Muslim family in UK ) had her world shattered when her father was found out to be having an affair after 22 years of marriage.
This sadly sounds like Bollywood trash but it happened.
It was the week of my wedding, my parents were calling this family to hand the invitations, but could not reach them. Close knit community in London, close group of my fathers friends, we all grew up together.
Shock of our lives, the day before my wedding, we find out that this 'Uncle' had been involved in a car crash and was in serious condition. His family was notified, who rushed to the hospital. there they found a young woman in her late 20's, by his bedside. She was a passenger in the car, suffered little injuries. She and 'Uncle' had been an item for 6 months,and this is how his family found out about his infidelity. Lots of screaming, his wife tried to beat him up by his bedside. That was the end of the marriage.
He recovered, divorce proceedings began, and he married his GF, who was a few years older than his oldest child. He moved away while his family remained in the same area.
Fast forward 20+ years. My friend and her sibs have all been married, and ALL are divorced. No marriage lasted more than 2+ years. her brother's marriage lasted six months. Luckily each marriage was child free. I met her two years ago, and she told me of the devastation of her father's infidelity, the laughing stock and humiliation living in a Pakistani community in London, the things that were said about her mother, while her father remained blameless. She and her sibs are not in touch with her father nor his side of the family . He suffered a massive heart attack two years ago, and reached out to his children who have nothing to do with him.
Re: spouse understanding partner's extra marital affair
Every woman's limit is different on dealing with situations like these. I could never get over infidelity personally because it would always be in the back of my mind. Every time he would go out or chat on the net/phone with someone, I would probably feel insecure and worry he would do it again. So it's not for me.
A lot of women though sacrifice for the sake of their children. I would never want my mom to put up with that. When a person cheats, they are only thinking about themselves, so why sacrifice for someone like that?
Re: spouse understanding partner's extra marital affair
The problem with bollywood is that it always shows people as all good and saintly or all bad and no grey areas. Hollywood movies like The Notebook should never be used as a basis for how a relationship would be because it's far from reality too. As long as you see it as only entertainment it's not problem.
Re: spouse understanding partner's extra marital affair
The problem with bollywood is that it always shows people as all good and saintly or all bad and no grey areas. Hollywood movies like The Notebook should never be used as a basis for how a relationship would be because it's far from reality too. As long as you see it as only entertainment it's not problem.
I just find it disgusting overall...the music is horrible, the women are ugly and they've made a complete mockery of Urdu. They claim it's "hindi", but they actually speak Urdu and they seem to have this urge to Romanise everything. It's a complete joke...the women are objectified, and it's full time propaganda. Plus, Pakistanis shouldn't even be watching that trash, considering Bollywood is a state funded industry...hence forth when you actually buy or watch movies in cinemas you're funding the Government of India, which in turn funds the occupation in Kashmir. Being of Kashmiri decent, I have yet to watch any Indian movie...and will die never watching one.
As they say...over my dead body.
Thank god for the alternative films Pakistanis are coming out with these days. I'll take those over Copywood (sorry Blahlywood) anyday.
Re: spouse understanding partner’s extra marital affair
That’s brave. Posting the story of a Bollywood movie on GS relationships forum. Just kidding
Don’t feel guilty or bad for watching Bollywood. I am Indian and i realise a lot of it’s escapist stuff but sometimes it can be a fun escape. There are also some good movies which are realistic. In any case people don’t feel guilty for watching Hollywood movies/TV despite what american gov does. I watch and enjoy Hum tv Pakistani dramas and movies. My parents do as well. No one has said don’t do that because it’s of Pakistani origin or funded by the Pakistani gov. These days we also have this Zee channel in India broadcasting Pakistani dramas. To say that would be wrong.
Also Bollywood has lot of awesome Muslim stars and also has many Pakistani singers and actors. Hollywood hardly has any desi characters especially in positive roles. No mass boycott for them yet here.
FIlms are less state funded and more privately funded then say sports games or cricket. Yet how many people boycott India-Pakistan games which are organised by BCCI funded by the government.
As for your question i wouldn’t take silly Bollywood storylines like that seriously. Some storylines have a serious message behind it like 3 idiots, udaan or taare zameen par but others not so much. I mean would it be accepted the other way around. I think with time desi culture may be slowly changing to treat female infidelity same as male infidelity so if one is forgiven then another is as well but we’re still light years away. There was this movie with Farhan Akhtar recently which had a husband willing to forgive his wife but the circumstances were slightly different. It was all a misunderstanding. It’s called shaadi ke side effects and it’s worth a one time watch.
Like others have mentioned movies are generally not the best to follow for real life examples.
Anyways just want to say not all Indians are bad or watching Indian movies is bad. You might like this Independence day compilation.
Re: spouse understanding partner's extra marital affair
I just find it disgusting overall...the music is horrible, the women are ugly and they've made a complete mockery of Urdu. They claim it's "hindi", but they actually speak Urdu and they seem to have this urge to Romanise everything. It's a complete joke...the women are objectified, and it's full time propaganda. Plus, Pakistanis shouldn't even be watching that trash, considering Bollywood is a state funded industry...hence forth when you actually buy or watch movies in cinemas you're funding the Government of India, which in turn funds the occupation in Kashmir. Being of Kashmiri decent, I have yet to watch any Indian movie...and will die never watching one.
As they say...over my dead body.
Thank god for the alternative films Pakistanis are coming out with these days. I'll take those over Copywood (sorry Blahlywood) anyday.
Your choice to watch or not watch Bollywood is completely up to you and everyone can have their own valid reasons. OP can have her own reasons for watching Bollywood movies based on preferences. If it's based on the government, which fund films/tv shows, minimally as mostly creative pursuits are private enterprises then i think that's not logical. One should also boycott Hollywood and American TV shows because i am sure they receive American gov funding and the American gov does a lot. One should also boycott India vs Pakistan cricket matches since BCCI is funded by Indian gov as well. Yet i don't see that happening. It's debatable how watching dvds, mostly pirated abroad, benefits the gov. Or watching it in Pakistani cinemas benefits the Indian gov vs those running Pakistani cinemas. Not to mention there are Pakistani singers and actors in Bollywood. All the big stars in Bollywood are also of Muslim background. I don't see that strong a link.
Good for you if you don't want to watch Bollywood. At the same time OP should know there are plenty of Indians who watch Pakistani dramas and listen to Pakistani songs. I do and i don't feel doing so makes me less of my nationality.
Re: spouse understanding partner’s extra marital affair
so I am still alive. All begum said is “bilkul bilkul. I totally understand. I hope you will understand me too” and I decided to not take it any further
Re: spouse understanding partner's extra marital affair
My advice to everyone is, watch Indian movies for the sake of watching. do not think or look into deeper messages or even try to make logic work. since 99% of the movies have no logics behind it when you think of it rationally.
and if the wife should even consider feeling the husbands feelings and taklef. the guy should too cause from what ive seen.. women have way way more reasons to cheat. their husbands are dry inattentive and rigid.
