Sponsoring a Spouse

Lifestyle Relationships
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I’ve always been a silent reader to date on this forum, but today I wanted to post a thread about something I was wondering if anyone else had been through in their life.

Long story short, I went to Pakistan and got married in January and returned to Canada in May. I’m now expecting and will be due in December in sha Allah. I’ve also actually just started the application process to sponsor my hubby recently.

It will be one year for my marriage in about two months from now, but I feel like me and my hubby haven’t been able to actually start life together. I mean sure we talk everyday and are in constant touch through WhatsApp, Viber, Skype, and what not, but it’s not anything close to the feeling of actually living together. I’m starting to envy couples who are with each other from day 1, and are able to start a newly wedded life together. On the downside, you don’t have a shoulder to cry on when times are tough, or share other feelings face-to-face, not to mention the lack of intimacy between a married couple.

On top of that, I probably miss his companionship the most because of this pregnancy…not being able to share the highs and lows of pregnancy, the joy of becoming first-time parents, shopping for the newborn together, having him feel the baby kick, or even having him lovingly talk to the baby in the belly. Ma sha Allah time has passed by so fast and it’ll soon be a year, but I feel like we’ve missed out on sooo much that newlywed couples are able to experience in the first year of marriage. That first year is probably the most special, as is the first born. Alhumdulillah I’m able to have my parents, especially my mom by my side throughout this pregnancy and taking care of me, but it’s just not the same. :frowning:

One plus point I was able to pull out from all this is that once hubby does join me here, it will have been two three years into our marriage in sha Allah, and that excitement to finally start life together, and that almost ‘newlywed’ feeling will surely be there.

I apologize for the long post, but I was wondering has anyone else been through this? Having to sponsor a spouse, and then the long wait?

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Why did you wait this long to apply for him?

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Re: Sponsoring a Spouse

Initially the plan was to settle there in Pakistan. After putting some thought into it, we decided it would be best to settle here.

4

Re: Sponsoring a Spouse

There is a way to fulfill that too, just have another baby...

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Re: Sponsoring a Spouse

Although I don't know the feeling of sponsoring and being pregnant while husband is away, I do know how it feels to be married and away from your husband for a while. I went through the same feeling of loneliness while I was completing medical school away from him and it was very hard. But you know the distance does make you two appreciate each others company when you will be together. Also - you get to really talk and have long conversations with one another. Nowadays with the internet - things are better where you can basically skype him and it lessens the loneliness.

I think just be positive and if you can, plan a trip back home to spend some time with him. The time will fly by also once your baby comes because that in itself will keep you quite busy.

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Sponsoring a Spouse

I think life with a baby is very different than being in the newly wed honeymoon phase, be it 1 yr after the rukhsati. A baby changes a lot. But that shouldn't stop you from starting a new and proper life with him. It'll take lots of compromise and understanding from both of you. Try to find ways to keep the "newlywed spark", along side the baby, if that's what you're looking for. :) once you guys spend time together, it'll be a totally diff experience from these Skype meetings for sure.