Re: Spoil them....
Parenting is a really tough job. Before I had mine, I had all kinds of ideas about what kind of parent I'd be - and I have to say that things change once you have them. You find that your ideas sometimes dont work well and need to be adjusted. Its amazing how quickly they can learn. If you dont give them enough attention, they misbehave because of course they DO get attention then. Negative attention but its still attention. If you give them everything they want, they get spoiled. Its a constant challenge to strike that delicate balance where they get things they want but not TOO much.
About "independence" I'm not quite sure what you mean. The job of a parent is to teach independence to their kids....starting with how to communicate, feed themselves, get dressed, clean up after themselves. Moving on, teaching them good morals and values so that they can make good decisions on their own. So in that sense, I am totally for teaching independence.
Maybe you meant more of granting certain freedoms? In that sense, my boys will have to EARN freedoms - once they demonstrate that are mature and responsible enough to handle it. If they ask for an unreasonable freedom, permission denied. I think its also important to provide a certain level of explanation - I always hated being told "because I SAID so" when I was young. My 5 year old wants to walk to school by himself so when I told him no, I also explained why. He accepted my explanation and didnt whine or keep asking again and again.
East or west, I think this is pretty much the thinking of most parents.