Re: How may kids you want to have?
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First of all, my husband does not make demands. We do not have a traditional marriage nor do we define marriage in the traditional way nor do we define it in the Islamic sense.** Secondly, even if I wanted a child, I believe that a child is a community responsibility. I am a Marxist and if I wanted one, I might have a child through a surrogate mother, give it to another to breastfeed (was this not how your prophet was raised?), send it to boarding school, or send him to live with family, or to be taken care of by a live-in individual in a nanny position (not necessarily a woman). I do not believe children are to be raised by "parents" (I don't believe in parenthood) because that is something that arose with capitalism and as a Marxist, of course capitalism is the devil for me. I do not believe in motherhood or primary parenting, because though I am a woman, I believe gender is dead. Were I to have a child, would I be a "mother"? No. With new definitions in place, there is no such thing as bad mother, bad parent. If I were to have a child, I would be involved only in the capacity of being a teacher, teaching him art, literature, philosophy, history and so on. The child would not be babied, patronized, and treated as a baby; he would be treated as an adult whose primary need is the cultivation of his mind.* He needs books and an abacus, a globe and a microscope, nature and a book on botany, not mothering and cooing and pacifiers***
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Yoy are guilty of the same, what you accuse others of. You see the child with your own prism. A piece of protoplasm that does not demand, cry, coo, yearn for love or attention instead he/she be compliant with YOUR lifestyle.
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Now, refrain from personal attacks. Not all of us think like you and actually abhor your conceptions of parenting and marriage which to us are reactionary and embedded in a stifling status quo. Do not cast the net of your ideologies upon others because we are not of your world and your net is like gossamer, in our world (a world which is quite wide, unlike what you might assume) it is diaphanous, invisible
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I am not trying to cast any net on YOU. But you might have heard, "Your freedom ends where my nose begins".
You can do whatever you like to do with yourself, but you have no right that your ideas of aloofness & cold affect the life of a child who is helpless and defenseless.
You know how much the state investigates before they approve an adoption. If they followed the same procedure before they allowed people to reporduce, theer would have been far fewer people on earth.