God stopped short of Me?<o =“”>
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As if he was never to show up, again<o =""></o>
This time, he is really gone. <o =""></o>
Although, I had all the intentions of making him so - mine. <o =""></o>
For he longed for me to remember him <o =""></o>
All this time we spoke or did not speak.<o =""></o>
When I did not, he made me remember him, bad.<o =""></o>
He is in a situation, now, that he has me wanting <o =""></o>
Other Gods- Life and its little ambiances<o =""></o>
All efforts of work and becoming wealthy<o =""></o>
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He made such a house in my heart – grand, permanent, a castle. <o =""></o>
On my mind, in my bones and in my spirit he could induce only
clawed fluff, fuzz of being unsure, invalidated, not confirmed<o =""></o>
Warmth which was so there, yet I refused to accept what was offered.<o =""></o>
Charming, indeed. <o =""></o>
Annoying all others to please this one…<o =""></o>
Pleasing all others to annoy this one<o =""></o>
What do I do?<o =""></o>
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Like the rhythms from an Arabic music piece<o =""></o>
Calming at the same time so crazy mad.<o =""></o>
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Or is it a deception of the two of us unto each other?<o =""></o>
He testing me, & I testing him…<o =""></o>
Not knowing our own selves inwardly<o =""></o>
How hollow can this be?<o =""></o>
It was not in his imagination.<o =""></o>
This was not what I meant.<o =""></o>
Oh, where did he go?<o =""></o>
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Dismayed in me, I in him.<o =""></o>
Crap, crap like feeling as if nothing will wash this guilt away<o =""></o>
Expect, getting to know each other once again. <o =""></o>
Before his self and my self surpassed each other’s<o =""></o>
In anger, in disappointment, in overbearing <o =""></o>
uncertainty of subtle loss<o =""></o>
I am slipping away … an accident to him. <o =""></o>
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He said, “Come along & get ready to go with me”.<o =""></o>
And I said, “No”.<o =""></o>
I lost him time and again.<o =""></o>
Mirroring my ways, <o =""></o>
Giving me a dose of my own medicine<o =""></o>
Controlling my ego, in exhausting his<o =""></o>
Wow, what a way to show care.<o =""></o>
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In side we knew we said to ourselves…”You hope, I hope”<o =""></o>
…We both hoped, hopelessly. <o =""></o>
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He indicated this to me, many times. <o =""></o>
& I lost him for good this time. <o =""></o>
Why had he not shown me a sign?<o =""></o>
Did I care to look for one?<o =""></o>
Silence spoke, made a point<o =""></o>
At my end, at his end…<o =""></o>
There is no end, yet again another non closure to another unclosed affair<o =""></o>
Discontent, mellowed worthlessness, wasting our souls <o =""></o>
Trying to understand<o =""></o>
To undo it all, to rewind the time, so trying to begin all over again<o =""></o>
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But, <o =""></o>
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God had to stop short of me. <o =""></o>
He wants me to take a step out of my own accord<o =""></o>
That will make him glad, perhaps.<o =""></o>
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-Dushwari
