Re: SPINOFF: Adoption Based on Pity
I have always wanted to adopt a child and it upsets me when I see or hear of people objecting or being against it. I want to yell at them but I politely say "lets just agree to disagree" and leave it at that.
Some people will say if you can have kids, why would you want to adopt? I dont know what Allah swt has planned for me but adoption is something I just feel pulled towards like a magnet. I want to do it. So, whether I have a child naturally or not will have no bearing on my decision to adopt a child, I still would want to do it even if I had children of my own.
Some ask if I will be able to be a fair parent with my biological children and adopted children. Im not a parent so its hard for me to say what I will be like but I know I will try my best to look at my adopted child the same way as I would my biological and treat both fairly.
Adopted children are never your own. This one always cracks me up because these days parents lose their own children due to bad parenting, bad company, bad marriages, etc. My biological child doesnt come programmed to stay with me through thick and thin...both will behave the way they're brought up I guess.
One thing someone said to me that hurt me to core was "childbirth is necessary to become a mother, you will never be a mother until you give birth". It almost made me cry because I know people who have adopted. Their love is not a real mother's love?
Muniya, your child isnt less fortunate and I know it hurts when people say that because to you, he is your own. If I were you, I wouldnt share his adoption with everyone because it becomes a source of gossip for some people. The ones who need to know will know and thats it. If people pry wanting to knowing about his birth, pregnancy, etc which often happens then change the subject, get busy or pretend as if he needs you and leave.