My inlaws are kachi memon, and after our engagement my MIL would want me to come over to my husband’s apartment to spend the day there so she could get to know me. It was very awkward and unheard of in my Hyderabadi family where ruksati de pehlay larki susural nahin jaati hai, but you’re right, in the above mentioned communities, it’s perfectly acceptable. I’ve seen it with my husband’s cousins and extended family where fiances are included in every celebration and event happening in the household.