Re: Speechless
You are right. There is nothing funny about the post. We shouldn’t derive amusement or entertainment from other people’s problems or trials…even if we believe them to be partly or fully responsible for the mess that they are in. By doing so…who knows…we may end up inviting troubles into our own life…if not of a marital nature then perhaps of another nature.
Op, maybe his friends brainwashed him about being a whipped husband or he’s fearing losing the freedom he enjoyed in his singledom. Just a guess. Neither of these reasons justify the poor response he gave you.
It’s a good thing that he decided against going to the rave party even after letting his friends have the room. I wonder how you reacted when he told you this. Did you explode at him…which may have agitated him further. Perhaps if you had calmly asked him, "Well if ur friends are going to stay in the room you booked, could you please book me another room?..he may have given a better response. I’m not blaming you; what he did was wrong. But when one partner is acting like a child, the other has to push themselves to remain level headed and not lose their cool.
Is this the first time that he has behaved this way or is it a frequent problem? I agree with Paheli. Send him an email and be careful how you word it. As tempting as it may be, don’t use a condescending or abrupt tone. Tell him that when he’s cooled down, that he should call you and that you two can work thru the issues together. And let’s see how he responds. If he’s open to communication, then you need to address the issue of how conflicts should be managed in the future…ie without hurling gaaliyan. If he inclined toward deen, then discussing the marriage from a deeni pov may be helpful. If he continues to disrespect you even while you remain calm, then it’s time to get your parents involved and to seek their guidance.