This is what I believe IF someone talks about others in front of U ---------be assured they also talk about U in front of others --
-and I say this every time when someone is talking bad of someone in his/her absence --normally they shut their mouths --
anyway there is a Quote: if U argue with ignorant and arrogant people they will bring u down to their level and beat U with their experience -----
I agree with your first sentence, but that is not what this thread is about. There is no backbiting or malicious gossip at play here. My question is simply wether or not it's worth it to confront or question someone about how their actions contradict their words, or if it's better to keep quiet
I agree with your first sentence, but that is not what this thread is about. There is no backbiting or malicious gossip at play here. My question is simply wether or not it's worth it to confront or question someone about how their actions contradict their words, or if it's better to keep quiet
Then Just follow the quote --DO U really believe U can change / modify / make person comprehend with a personality like that ?? Na baba it's not worth arguing with these people ---and If and a BIG if -U confront the person with the Truth on his/her face it will back fire --very few are able to face bitter truth and by reading ur post --I don't think this person can face even a small grain of truth --BUT again a BIG IF --U can make a difference ---without causing rifts and animosities discord -(unthinkable) Go for it --IF not ---------------->>>>leave the Rest To ALLAH --
If I were you guys I would just stay quiet and move on. It seems like if you just leave it be you will be creating no drama.
If you report him it will create a lot of drama.
His actions seem to have not directly hurt anyone.
If you guys dont like him, slowly distance yourselves.
Also when you report him and he gets busted, would u be satisfied?
If I were you guys I would just stay quiet and move on. It seems like if you just leave it be you will be creating no drama.
If you report him it will create a lot of drama.
His actions seem to have not directly hurt anyone.
If you guys dont like him, slowly distance yourselves.
Also when you report him and he gets busted, would u be satisfied?
No, there would be no satisfaction. It's not about vindication. I feel like I would report any type of fraudulent activity regardless if it were a stranger or someone I knew. For the most part, I have greatly limited my interactions with my cousin because of her husband, so it does make me sad. But I guess it is better to let sleeping dogs lie :(
It looks like the lady is getting punished for having strong opinions.
Anyway, I'm not too big on reporting people (not family members in anyway), unless there's violence involved. There are a lot of other ways to tell someone to stop doing the wrong thing.
you had me at self-appointed bid'ah police. we have one of the female variety in my family -- my in-laws, to be exact -- and this one is the sort that's utterly content to never once acknowledge her own mistakes that have led to her countless failed relationships - as a mother, a wife, a friend, a daughter, you name it - and lecture everyone else on how to live their lives and raise their children. it is SUCH an exercise in patience just listening to her constant self-righteous spiel knowing all that's been conveniently swept under the rug along her path to religious and spiritual enlightenment.
as far as calling her out vs. taking the high road is concerned -- funny thing, what with the general non-confrontational attitudes that run in this side of the family, she doesn't really pass judgement on those who are guaranteed to retaliate. not in their presence, anyway. she'd rather save her fatwaas for the milder folk whose kindness she'll milk for weakness and have her way with - really, it's not like they don't know who she is and what she does. the result of that is that she's become known in circles far and wide as the kind of person you should avoid, ten-foot pole and all, and she's basically a lonely old biddy going twisted from having been in her own company for too long.
just desserts, i guess. she's only ever roused my pity or ire, never much else.
Personally, I would call him on it in FRONT of everyone. You don't know what that person is saying about YOU or anyone else in the room behind YOUR/THEIR backs to others. When you call someone's hypocrisy out in front of a group, it exposes them and cautions others around them to start thinking, wait a minute, this person is talking sh!t about someone who is not here, what do they say about me when I'm not here. It also cautions people to not take this person seriously. These people can be pretty toxic.
Secondly, if you want to go the religious route, you are a community and as a community you should confront him and it is YOUR responsibility to remind him of all the commandments he's breaking and maybe that reminder will benefit him or others who are listening. Just my two cents, but then I live for confrontation, some people avoid confrontation at all costs.
It doesn't have to be mean spirited and doesn't have to be in front of children or younger people, but saying "Listen XYZ, I don't think it's appropriate to talk about ABC when they are not here to defend themselves, I think that's unfair." is not out of line. It's mostly non-confrontational.
I hate people like that; acting holy saintly in front others while doing nasty forbidden things themselves and saying horrible things about people who never harmed them. Often the victims of their vicious talk and behaviour are better people than these hypocrite holy saintly acting people.