Speaking Up vs Keeping Your Mouth Shut

[khattichic]

Re: Speaking Up vs Keeping Your Mouth Shut

@PashtunWarrior

Report him to the government about cheating on his income and he will learn very quickly not to talk bad about others. I come from a religious family and usually I will use my religion in a way that it defends my position. It is hard to argue with someone when you know what they are saying is right. The thing about bidda’h is that all the scholars do not agree with what is bidda’h and what is not. It is best to talk about the major sins that everyone agrees are wrong and how we can avoid those and become better Muslims. There is a hadith that if you backbite then it is like you are eating the flesh of your brother, sometimes people need to be reminded.

Funny thing is that my sister did anonymously report them through the a Medicate/gov’t website, but obviously it fell through the cracks, because they are still boasting about getting vaccinations for their upcoming Umrah for only $20 through the county health dept vs the $155 everyone else pays

And I agree on your Hadith…there was no “backbiting” going on really, we were concerned family members discussing another’s behavior

@Captain_Obvious

If were in the gathering you mentioned, I would have stayed quiet about the person in question. Depending on my relationship with the person or people who are close to him, I might try to advise him.

Can you mention some examples of a couple of things that he might do that irritates your family members? Does he backbite the people or does he point out that something wrong that he sees them doing? Does he tell them in a really disrespectful way or does he tell them in a normal manner but people seem to be irritated by it because he’s bringing it up at all?

I’ve seen a whole lot of double standard with this type of thing too. For instance, I’ve seen people claiming to be all about “to each their own” and “let people do what they want, it’s none of your business” but when somebody does something in a manner they don’t like, they’ll question and even try to dissuade them. For instance, somebody starts to grow a beard, someone decides to segregate their functions, then these people will try to question/lecture them about these things. I’ve had my times of being questioned by those types of people. The way that I would react is to respond to their remarks with an appropriate comment, but only when they make their remarks. I wouldn’t initiate any discussion on it myself.

The person in question is my khala’s damaad, married to my first cousin. We are a very tight knit family, with a lot of interaction. Within our khandaan, there are varying schools of thougth and levels of religious practice. For example, my husband and I recently moved in to a new home, prior to our closing, at a family get together, someone casually asked us if we were planning on holding a quran khaani or something after we moved in. My husband answered “haan, kuch tho karlainga, inshallah”…even though he and I generally do to hold khatams or engage in fatihas etc ourselves, it was more about being polite to the elder who posed the question…bassssss…that very night, this person sent a mass email to the ENTIRE family about how to NOT engage in such biddah’ti practices blah blah blah…" because the Prophet SAWS never did such things…but here’s the kicker…this man not only encourages, but himself buys his wife revealing clothing, sleeveless and backless sari blouses etc…where is his deen then? Sometimes I’m really at a loss to keep from questioning his logic. Hence the purpose of this thread…when do you keep quiet vs speak up and questions someone’s hypocricy?

@diwana

I don’t think any crime should be discussed like that online.

People need to be careful, and better have solid undeniable proof before making comments like that EVEN online.

What if someone writes he/she saw a murder or saw crime happening. Not good to announce or entertain those comments online.

**As a responsible citizen just do the right thing and report to authorities but make sure yo have proof(s). And not just sit behind the computer and write it. **

How do you know it’s never been reported? And yes, there is proof because again, as a family, we have all heard in detail exactly HOW they went about skirting the rules.

And I’m sorry that my subject matter offends you…let me get you some headache medicine for that face palm. Or maybe I can start cutting and pasting and google-ing my arguments ad nauseam