So what is the consensus, if loved ones have habits or do things that are grating on your nerves, but you know telling them may be hurtful, what do you do, let them know or just let it go? what is the tipping point. I mean I can see level of interaction being one, if my phuppa has some annoying habits but i only see him once in a blue moon then why even bother versus someone close to you parents, siblings, spouse, children?
thoughts?
Re: speak your mind and hurt people, or bite your tongue
i have applied a very simple rule in my life''AIK KAAN SAI SONO AUR DOSARAI SAI NIKAL DOO''well it was very hard to apply at first,but i am used to it now.and trust me it ll help u alot in life:D
Re: speak your mind and hurt people, or bite your tongue
It is a question essentially based on weather one wants to live himself/herself or with others or has a creativity to make a balance.
Merely bad habits which grates someone should not be the reason to speak the mind, it has to be a bigger reason.
Re: speak your mind and hurt people, or bite your tongue
Speak your mind if it is something good or useful. If you're aware it may offend the person, you will have to apply logic to how to word it as lying is forbidden in Islam. Of course, you can always try to just avoid saying anything at all in that case as well.
Re: speak your mind and hurt people, or bite your tongue
yes..don't say it....may be the other person has been silent on your annyoing habbits also..
Re: speak your mind and hurt people, or bite your tongue
No rule of thumb here, depends upon situation.
Re: speak your mind and hurt people, or bite your tongue
"Lose your mind and come to your senses"
Personally I am often annoyed by peoples habbits but i keep quite, since in society i'm the outsider, the lone wolf type. I know i'm not quite "in it" not just in the fammily but among the community. Sure i'm respected and well known but i tend to remain in the shadows if i can. Thus i tend to have a pretty laid back attitude.
But if i see something, or hear something that i feel is not just annoying/insulting t me but is dangerous to the sensitivity of others then i will speak my mind body and soul there and then.
Now with close fammily i'm understanding and more lenient but thats not to say if something was seriously wrong even with one of my siblings i would speak out against it for sure.
Re: speak your mind and hurt people, or bite your tongue
Say it, but dull the edges with consideration to their emotions. Remember, the sandwich technique for criticisms? Use less threatening, less extreme words, calm tone of voice, no accusation. It should go alright. They might still be a little hurt (or embarrassed) but everyone can deal with a little bit of that.
So, I say, say it.
Re: speak your mind and hurt people, or bite your tongue
I mostly bite my tongue unless its something that can hurt my loved ones, then i speak my mind out...
Re: speak your mind and hurt people, or bite your tongue
Nice advice :k:
Re: speak your mind and hurt people, or bite your tongue
Dude, you don't do those things by the rules. :ASA:
What the matter with you ?(I spoke my mind)
Re: speak your mind and hurt people, or bite your tongue
Go with what CL said.
Re: speak your mind and hurt people, or bite your tongue
good points folks
Re: speak your mind and hurt people, or bite your tongue
So what is the consensus, if loved ones have habits or do things that are grating on your nerves, but you know telling them may be hurtful, what do you do, let them know or just let it go? what is the tipping point. I mean I can see level of interaction being one, if my phuppa has some annoying habits but i only see him once in a blue moon then why even bother versus someone close to you parents, siblings, spouse, children?
thoughts?
It depends on how annoying the habit. If it's someone I see very rarely, I would be inclined to overlook it.
Re: speak your mind and hurt people, or bite your tongue
I don't mind what other people do as long as it doesn't involve or affect me directly and even then I usually ignore it but when it comes to my kids I simply can't tolerate any BS whether my close relative is smoking in my house or my close friend is using my children's pictures in third party's applications on Facebook, I tell them straight to back off.
Re: speak your mind and hurt people, or bite your tongue
[quote]
speak your mind and hurt people, or bite your tongue
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OR
the third option, bite someone else's tongue to hurt them.
OK, seriously, I'm with you, if they're not around much I'll ignore it UNLESS it has anything to do with my wife or kid. If someone says or does anything to make life harder for my wife or kid, I immediately tell them the rules of our house and if they resist at all, they are asked to leave. My house, my rules.