So many situations arise when dealing with in-laws.
When do you think it’s best for a woman to speak up for herself and when should she leave the “dirty work” to hubby darling?
Re: Speak for yourself or let Hubby do the talking....
A little politics always comes handy.
btw, if wife knows how to talk and is not going to make issue out of it, I'd rather have her deal with inlaws but if she is off time to lose it often and chances are that baat aur kharab HEE ho jayee gi then better let hubby do all cleanup job.
Re: Speak for yourself or let Hubby do the talking....
I feel that in-laws are tricky. And in a tricky situation the best man for the job is one who can handle the situation. Usually, in-laws will not get too upset if their own blood speaks up and even if they do...eventually all is forgiven.
For me, it doesn't matter how much resolve I have to speak up next time or this or that...I know I won't when the time comes.
Re: Speak for yourself or let Hubby do the talking....
for me, in my little experience with inlaws, i usually tell my husband if i did not like something that was said or done. i usually leave it up to him if he wants to bring it up with his parents or not. but at least he knows.
Re: Speak for yourself or let Hubby do the talking....
those that advocate letting hubby do the talking......don't you feel that this creates a distance between yourself and the in-law in question?
Re: Speak for yourself or let Hubby do the talking....
those that advocate letting hubby do the talking......don't you feel that this creates a distance between yourself and the in-law in question?
It probably does. We should be able to talk out our issues like adults. Maybe if both sides are mature, this would give better results.
Re: Speak for yourself or let Hubby do the talking....
i think children know how to deal with their own parents.
i would also prefer speaking for my husband if he encounters an issue with my parents.
Re: Speak for yourself or let Hubby do the talking....
This thought never crossed my mind with regards to happily ever after...
taking notes
Re: Speak for yourself or let Hubby do the talking....
If there was immaturity and/or drama I'd likely steer clear and ask him but luckily there isn't.. If something bothers me I'll tend to deal with it myself, in as nice a way as possible of course :@:
If hubby has an issue with either one of my parents he's free to deal with it as he wishes as well.. I think I'd actually find it quite annoying if I had to always act as go-between..
Re: Speak for yourself or let Hubby do the talking....
I ALWAYS get my husband to deal with my in-laws. And yes, this does create a distance between me and them and I'm ok with that. I don't feel any need to be close to them. I'm polite to them and they to me.... And that's all I ask for.
So a flip question would be that if your in-laws have an issue with you, do you want them to talk to you, or Kaan Bharo your hubby?
Re: Speak for yourself or let Hubby do the talking....
^lol
Re: Speak for yourself or let Hubby do the talking…
I’m close to my inlaws and have known them for a long time, so I do all the talking myself. Hubby does all the talking himself as well with my family. Unless there’s some issue with a distant relative which cannot be ignored, we hardly kaan bharo each other 
I think after the initial years - you kind of get a good feeling about what should be ignored, when you can talk for yourself and when the situation is tricky and you need to involve the spouse. IMO, involving the spouse too much can be complicated as well especially if there is a lot of complaining from both sides and he/she is stuck in the middle.
Re: Speak for yourself or let Hubby do the talking....
such a meaningless post. you definitely set a new record low for the final ashura.
Re: Speak for yourself or let Hubby do the talking…
touche…but then again it comes down to the level of maturity on both sides…
moderation is always good…sadly many of the issues are emotionally charged and even otherwise mature people might have a tendency to fall prey to their feelings…
Re: Speak for yourself or let Hubby do the talking....
So a flip question would be that if your in-laws have an issue with you, do you want them to talk to you, or Kaan Bharo your hubby?
hayee zalim yee kia poch leya
Re: Speak for yourself or let Hubby do the talking....
It depends on the situation if its small, ignore it or deal with it by yourself without confronting the in laws. If its in the middle confront the inlaws in a polite way if its big i guess get your husband to intervene or help. However im not married so im not sure how things tend to go down when confronting MIL lol.
Re: Speak for yourself or let Hubby do the talking....
So a flip question would be that if your in-laws have an issue with you, do you want them to talk to you, or Kaan Bharo your hubby?
That's a good question...I don't know.
When my parents have any issues with my husband I deal with it automatically. I guess I expect the same from him but it doesn't always work out with most men because they don't communicate as well as women do - from what I've seen at least.
Re: Speak for yourself or let Hubby do the talking…
My in laws can never have issues with me. I am the perfect bahu that never make mistakes.
Re: Speak for yourself or let Hubby do the talking....
So a flip question would be that if your in-laws have an issue with you, do you want them to talk to you, or Kaan Bharo your hubby?
Yes, I would prefer in-laws talk to hubby if they have an issue with me. In fact, my in-laws have done this before and every time they've complained about me, my husband has stood up for me. I've had issues with my in- laws since hubby and I were dating. That is why ALL communication goes through husband. if they have an issue with me, they can bring it up to their son. P.S. Same rule applies to my parents. If they have an issue with my hubby, they talk to me and I handle it.