So the woman who’s recently occupied the desk next to mine isn’t as friendly as she appeared when she wasn’t my neighbor.
I’ve noticed that she hardly responds to my cheerful g’morning when I come in and never says goodbye when she leaves in the evening. After making a few more attempts at being friends, I gave up on her.
This morning when I came in, I was taking my coat and stuff off when she turned around and asked me, “What perfume are you wearing? Dolce & Gabanna Light blue?” Since that was the one I had on, I said yeah. And for a moment I thought, “Oh my God, she’s an undercover fashion police! And I am caught committing a serious fashion faux pas by wearing fruity-summery cologne in dead winters.” But no, true to her annoying self, she said to me, “Can you please don’t wear it? I am allergic to it.” In a not so polite tone, more like ordering me, as opposed to asking for a favor. I literally said, “huh? I have to wear perfume.” I know that was a lame answer, but here’s someone who’s never bothered building a rapport and all of a sudden asking me to change my perfume. What if the next thing she tells me is to stop smiling so much cuz she’s allergic to that as well. Will I relent?
If you guys were in such a situation what would you do? One thing I know for sure is that I won’t stop wearing my perfume.
I have coached many people as to how to make friends out of enemies at work. That worked every time. Invite her to lunch , chit chat with her. Nobody ever refuses to go out for a free lunch. You cannot turn her into your friend by behaving the way she is behaving. You dislike her because she has an attitude , right ? So why are you bent on showing one yourself. From your posts , I know for sure that you are a smart girl , very smart. So be smart and make a friend out of her that is your challenge. Specially after she is your neighbor at work.
Oh and at my work some people will say good morning and good bye and others will not. At work you get used to seeing people so some of those formalities go to back burner of our minds.
I have coached many people as to how to make friends out of enemies at work. That worked every time. Invite her to lunch , chit chat with her. Nobody ever refuses to go out for a free lunch. You cannot turn her into your friend by behaving the way she is behaving. You dislike her because she has an attitude , right ? So why are you bent on showing one yourself. From your posts , I know for sure that you are a smart girl , very smart. So be smart and make a friend out of her that is your challenge. Specially after she is your neighbor at work.
Oh and at my work some people will say good morning and good bye and others will not. At work you get used to seeing people so some of those formalities go to back burner of our minds.
If she were in my team, I might have made more of an effort to stay friendly. But my issue is that unless I have some very serious health issues, I wouldn't ask anyone to accomodate me.
If someone asked me to not wear my perfume, I would ask them not to look so horrible...Im allergic to nastiness. Okay Im being mean. I know.
What Mirch said is a good tactic if you want to make a friend out of her. If you go with that, at least you know you have tried it all and the problem is actually with her.
Sorry my bad .
From this part of your first post ;
I thought that you were looking for the ways to deal with her. But looks like you already know how to deal with her.
I sorry again.
That was an empty dare. I am really wondering whether I should change my perfume. What if it really aggravates her allergy and next thing I know she's dead by my desk!
This situation happens all the time in work environment that you try to befriend with someone but he/she doesnt. So its very normal. However, asking someone (who is not a friend) not to wear a perfume is wierd. But she has a reason for it.
So my advice to you is, just be yourself. Keep saying GM or "hv a good one" type stuff in a very normal fashion. I wont suggest you to go an extra mile in trying befriend with her. Do you need her that desperately? Ofcourse NO. So, just keep it going. You'll find much better ppl around and then you even wont care if someone is acting wierd or no.
Canty, keep wearing your perfume. If she bothers you tell her to get a clothes pin and clip it onto her nose...that should take care of her allergies quite well.
I never saw a response like this from you. Cut some slack to the poor girl , she is allergic to this perfume.
One family friend of mine when they come to our home we have to make sure that we have neutralized our home , because friend’s wife gets sick if we have sprayed air freshener .
Canty, keep wearing your perfume. If she bothers you tell her to get a clothes pin and clip it onto her nose...that should take care of her allergies quite well.
Did you ask her...like"what reaction do you get with the allergy?
Read up on allergies and ask her specific questions....
To me seems more like she doesnt like the smell and she is covering it under the .."I am allergic" if she were...she would be allergic to all of the perfumes...Call her Bluff...Im telling ya!!
Did you ask her...like"what reaction do you get with the allergy?
Read up on allergies and ask her specific questions....
To me seems more like she doesnt like the smell and she is covering it under the .."I am allergic" if she were...she would be allergic to all of the perfumes...Call her Bluff...Im telling ya!!
I can relate to what you are saying. She might have some bad memories associated to that perfume.
Did you ask her...like"what reaction do you get with the allergy?
Read up on allergies and ask her specific questions....
To me seems more like she doesnt like the smell and she is covering it under the .."I am allergic" if she were...she would be allergic to all of the perfumes...Call her Bluff...Im telling ya!!
See! If only I could think on my feet like that. Apparently, she's only allergic to this one. And I actually bought it, thinking no one other than a person allergic to it would be able to correctly guess a perfume! :(
I am done being sweet all the time.
I never saw a response like this from you. Cut some slack to the poor girl , she is allergic to this perfume.