i am the youngest of three daughters, followed by one son. Over my lifetime, many individuals (relatives and non-relatives, including strangers) have commented that we ‘should’ have had the son first, then the daughters because from a ‘pragmatic’ point of view, the son theoretically would have been in a position to help out the parents while the daughters - well, we know what daughters do. They marry and leave their homes. Khair. The son, theoretically, would at least by this age have been able to start earning financially if not get married, and hence take care of our parents. Daughters, on the other hand, as my eldest Baji did, get married aur apna ghaR kahin aur basaatay hain.
Khair. i have to say - this is extremely unique thinking, and possesses more complexities than anyone perhaps acknowledges publically. My Abbu doesn’t live in Canada, he lives abroad; there are so many things that i do here that has become second nature for me. Even Abbu was surprised at how many ‘guy’ activities i do. If the car needs to be taken to the mechanic’s, i go with my Ammi to do it (or she goes with me). . If the car needs to be washed or shampooed, it’s usually me who arranges that. If the oil needs to be changed, it’s me who does it. We had to have the locks on our doors oiled; apparently the weather here makes them susceptible to rust. So i did it. i am more comfortable with a can of WD40 in my hands, than a bottle of perfume. Whenever it was -30 outside, we (as in my bajis and i) automatically tell Ammi she’s not going to go outside in the cold; jo bhi ghar ka kaam hota hai, we do it. We force her to stay inside so she doesn’t have to deal with the weather conditions. Driveway needs to be salted - guess who does it. Just because the son hasn’t been born first in line, doesn’t mean that the daughters are any less capable, or willing, to handle the chores that have traditionally been the guy’s domain.
i just wanted to make this point. Maybe it is a stupid one. i have a bit of free time, and probably will not be logging in again for a couple days, so just wanted to make this point and get it off my mind somewhere. Girls are no less capable than guys. Infact, we are generally speaking more willing to do these things and we expect nothing in return. Just the acknowledgement that we are not inferior to guys. The order in which children are born vis-a-vis their genders, is rather superficial from ONE point of view…in the sense that, there is no guarantee that having a son first would have made my parents’ lives any easier. i mean, he could have been an arrogant spoiled brat and perhaps refuse to do those chores (God Forbid). i do what i always am able to for my parents… my gender has nothing to do with it. It is my duty, nothing less.
Just cuz we are three daughters first, doesn’t mean that makes my parents’ lives any more difficult. i’m not the perfect child, but neither does my gender play a massive factor in whether or not i take care of my parents.
IF i ever got married, i would want my parents to live with me (and yes, hubby’s parents as well). Just cuz i am a female, doesn’t mean there are things i can’t do… having three daughters first, in my opinion, was probably a blessing for my parents in ways that only Allah can understand.
My sister gets soooo jealous. 
