What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs.
What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
Are you sure it’s mine?"
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with… “a recipe”.
What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a
southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time…” A southern fairytale begins “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shyte…”
I almost died laughing at some of them 
I was a pretty long list - I had to delete ~ 80% :halo: for obvious reasons 
anyone who wants the full list plz PM me 