Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme...
low necks make me feel uncomfortable.
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme...
Looks like he does not want her to be with her in Jannat in akhrat. He has his eyes on someone else for after life.
LOL
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme…
its not controlling, He’s absolutely right! and i agree with sehrysh! a woman can NEVER be unaware of how her body appears infront of others!!
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme...
I want to back up a step from all of the comments. I find defining acceptable behaviour (not just in the context of attire, but any moralistic behaviour) to be a slippery slope because regardless of what each of us may believe about what constitues acceptable behaviour - there is no universal consensus, even with the guidance of the Quran (niqab versus hijab as an example).
Take for example defining modesty versus immodesty of attire - there will likely always be someone who is more conservative than me.
Let's take different factors:
Dresses - floor-length or mini-skirt?
Sleeves - sleeveless or long-sleeves?
Fabrics - sheer, semi-sheer or opaque-lined?
Head covering - dupatta, hijab or niqab?
Fitted not fitted?
Each of us dresses to a standard we are comfortable with and unless we're willing to abide by the most stringent standards of modesty and everyone agrees that that is what constitutes modesty - I'm troubled by the passing of judgment.
Just my two cents.
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme...
I want to back up a step from all of the comments. I find defining acceptable behaviour (not just in the context of attire, but any moralistic behaviour) to be a slippery slope because regardless of what each of us may believe about what constitues acceptable behaviour - there is no universal consensus, even with the guidance of the Quran (niqab versus hijab as an example).
Take for example defining modesty versus immodesty of attire - there will likely always be someone who is more conservative than me.
Let's take different factors:
Dresses - floor-length or mini-skirt?
Sleeves - sleeveless or long-sleeves?
Fabrics - sheer, semi-sheer or opaque-lined?
Head covering - dupatta, hijab or niqab?
Fitted not fitted?
Each of us dresses to a standard we are comfortable with and unless we're willing to abide by the most stringent standards of modesty and everyone agrees that that is what constitutes modesty - I'm troubled by the passing of judgment.
Just my two cents.
Good post. Thank you.
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme...
wats with you ladies??
if a husband stops/restricts wife from something.....its all that 'evil desi men/bad husbands/ego maniac'
'
now the guy is not forcing his wife to act according to his will...........its still his fault he didn't stop her??
where are the inner feminists all u ladies? if she wants to dress like she wants to (just like if she wants a job he doesn't like) why you all want her husband to stop her??
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme...
Cleavage showing is a no no .. I'm always very careful but if my husband ever pointed it out to me i'll be more thankful than annoyed.
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme...
Does your husband also keep a watch on your temper & language you use?
Sorry for the misuse of language, I got angry when thinking about how she wears her clothes. Apologies for the language.
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme...
I don't think the husband in this case is a "extremist" or "controlling". The wife needs to have more respect for herself, her husband, and their marriage.
The idea that a man doesn't want his wife showing too much skin (especially when she's showing part of her bra or peeks of her breasts when she bends over) is not a "back home" idea! My SO was born/raised in the U.S. Yet if he feels that an outfit is inappropriate, he will tell me. I have co-workers who are white, black, and hispanic and all have made comments at one time or another about situations where their husbands or BFs didn't want them wearing an outfit that's "too revealing".
In my opinion, this is nothing to do with religion, race, or where one was raised. It's all about respect. When my SO tells me he doesn't want me to wear or buy a particular outfit, I choose to not wear/buy that outfit b/c I love him and I respect "us". If I tell him I don't like a particular shirt, my SO doesn't wear it either. Life is full of "real" problems.....its not worth it for me to upset SO over a frigging outfit. Part of being in a relationship/marriage is that the partners should do everything possible to keep their other half happy.
The wife in this case, for her to not adjust her outfits so that her bra is not showing, or her cleavage isn't showing when she bends over is just ridiculous. She should ask herself.....would she be comfortable with her daughter dressing the way she does.
On a side note, did she husband know that the wife dressed like this BEFORE he married her?
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme...
My dewaraani in PK usually has her cleavage on display, it really disgusts me that she doesn't cover herself properly at all.** In fact her blind husband doesn't even say anything to her. I know if I ever had anything accidently showing my hubby would make sure he told me ASAP so I could cover properly. I am careful however alhamdulilla that nothing is on display butt this SIL really doesm y nerves in, **she is the only bahu in my in laws house that thinks it's OK and her hubby is a stupid prick for ignoring this!!!!
Maybe he doesn't mind.. or likes the way she dresses.. Not all guys have a problem with their wives showing more skin..
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme...
don't you have a new born to tend to?
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme...
iv seen husbands in pak who have NO PROB with their wifey breast feeding in public ..
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme...
^Isn't breastfeeding a bit different tho.. I mean don't people find that ok as long as the woman is discrete or is it still looked down on? If it's out of necessity and not 'in your face' I can't see what the big deal would be with that, she could wear a sleeveless top underneath a jacket or just turn around or something..
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme...
Cleavage showing is a no no .. I'm always very careful but if my husband ever pointed it out to me i'll be more thankful than annoyed.
well said!
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme...
iv seen husbands in pak who have NO PROB with their wifey breast feeding in public ..
Whats wrong with breastfeeding in public discretely when necessary?
If you have a baby who is hollering at the top of her/his voice cuz of hunger, you stop bothering about what other people may think. Thats completely different from wearing low necks just to look attractive or whatever.
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme...
Whats wrong with breastfeeding in public discretely when necessary? If you have a baby who is hollering at the top of her/his voice cuz of hunger, you stop bothering about what other people may think. Thats completely different from wearing low necks just to look attractive or whatever.
well the inital poster is talking bout something that happened by 'accident' .. u dont have to wear low necks for this accident happen .. it can happen to any woman when she bends down or whatever .. accidents r not done to 'meant' to be anything .. they just happen .. on the other hand .. breast feeding is very deliberate is it not? ..
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme…
breastfeeding isn’t meant to be sexual or to show anyone or be attractive 
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme…
nor is an ‘accident’ meant to be such einstein .. but i bet breastfeeding in public can be avoided by women who really would like to avoid such exposure in public ..
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme...
well the inital poster is talking bout something that happened by 'accident' ..** u dont have to wear low necks for this accident happen** .. it can happen to any woman when she bends down or whatever .. accidents r not done to 'meant' to be anything .. they just happen .. on the other hand .. breast feeding is very deliberate is it not? ..
Wanted to make 2 points:
1) I have plenty of desi and non desi clothing where the neck are low and I already know that if I bend down wearing those clothes, then cleavage will show. However, on the other hand, I have other pieces (desi and non desi clothing) where I can bend over as much as I want but nothing "extra" will show. It's a combination of how high the neck is plus the type of material plus the fit....but it's not difficult to find clothing that will NOT show extra clevage when a woman bends over (especially desi clothing).
2) The woman's husband has already pointed out specific outfts which shows too much skin and that he feels are inappropriate. If the woman continues to wear the same outfits or buy new outfts that are identical (in terms of how low the neck are) to the outfit the husband referred to....then she's showing cleavage deliberately and it is not an "accident".
Re: breastfeeding in public
Personally, I have never seen a desi woman breastfeeding in public where I actually saw her breasts. The women I've seen usually have a dupatta covering the breast/child.
Re: something ive observed?is this liberal or extreme...
i think it's uncomfortable for the people that see the showing of the cleavage even if it's by accident
well even for me,as a woman, it's uncomfortable to see. that's why tailor made clothes/salwar kameezes/sari blouses are better, i guess some women are ok with big necklines or skin show. i refuse to judge them in a bad way though, i ain't God to do that, plus they are women too so i'm not going to put them down.
nor is an 'accident' meant to be such einstein .. but i bet breastfeeding in public can be avoided by women who really would like to avoid such exposure in public ..
i've seen women put a big cloth over their upper body while breastfeeding and nothing is seen, when the baby is screaming like crazy, it's not a big deal to breastfeed in public especially when you have all these things to cover up so nobody can see anything.