Something I can't quite get over..

[diwana]

Re: Something I can’t quite get over..

@mugofcoffee

I was involved with a girl a couple years ago at university. In the start, she seemed sort of perfect and I was quite taken with her and it seemed to me (and she pretended as much) that she was very much in love with me .
However, as time progressed I slowly learnt that everything she seemed to me was based on dishonesty . In the first few months , she made me fall absolutely in love with her . It was only later I started to realize that it was all an act for her. She went to extreme lengths to hide things about her past from me. Now I am relatively open minded and can possibly disregard someone’s past , but her dishonesty was not limited to that. She was the same person but only pretended to be something else in front of me. I also began to realize that her affection towards me was linked to the amount of money i spend on her. if this was not enough to crush any self respect and self esteem i had left, I discovered through some mutual friends that she was desperately trying to get back with an ex boyfriend back in pakistan and I was being used to make him jealous. I was also her trophy boyfriend and she would always want me around when she was with her friends. I confronted her a few times on this , but she would always deny and had an excuse for everything and assured me that she only has feeling for me ; and sadly I would fall for it every time until one day a few weeks before graduation she broke down crying in front of a friend of mine confessing to everything I had suspected ( about her ex boyfriend and how she was using me to get back with him. I also later discovered that she had cheated on her ex boyfriend who subsequently dumped her when he found out while she had told me he got engaged to his cousin under family pressure which made them split up.)

I broke up with her after this ( a miserable 10 months) and soon graduated and came back home, while she stayed at university for another year and is now back at another city. Despite her attempts at trying to woo me back, I have had almost no contact with her for an entire year now. I realise that I made a mistake by falling for a girl like that and she effectively crushed any self respect I had. I resent the way she treated me but apart from telling her that I dont want to have anything to do with her I have never lashed out at her and simply disappeared from her life.

She emailed me a few days ago, saying that she does not understand why I am still so bitter about the past and that she just wants to know why I would hate her . I dont intend to reply and her content of her email really pisses me off.. But I have realised today that I need some sort of closure on this. In the last year, I have shruggedd off any interest any girl has shown in me and to be honest I think I am afraid of entering into any relationship for the fear of getting hurt. When I fell for her she seemed to be a perfectly nice girl who turned out to be a monster. What she did to me was so devastating to me that I cant get myself to discuss it with even my closest friends. Writing this post here has just made me feel a little better. I would appreciate some insightful advice

Weynn wyenn weynn!

Sounds like crying woman.

Be a man and stop crying to the world!

Don’t make “mankind” look bad!

Boys don’t cry!