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Greg Thomas was bowling to Viv Richards in a county game. Viv missed a superb outswinger, and Thomas said, “It’s red, round and weighs about 5 ounces.” Next ball Viv hits Greg Thomas out of the ground for a six and replies, “Greg, you know what it looks like. Go ahead and find it!”
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Madras 1983. Gavaskar had decided to relinquish his opening position and come in #4 for that test. But, Malcolm Marshall fired out Anshuman Gaekwad and Dilip Vengsarkar for ducks, setting the stage for Gavaskar to walk in at 0/2. Viv Richards said to Sunil Gavaskar, “Man, it don’t matter where you come in to bat, the score is still zero”. Gavaskar, of course, went on to score 234 !
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Daryll Cullinan was batting (against New Zealand), attempting a comeback from a complete bamboozling from Warne in earlier games. Cullinan played the first ball from Chris Harris very carefully back down the pitch and keeper Parore yelled out, “Well bowled Warnie!”
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(Incident described in “From the Pavilion End”, by Harold ‘Dickie’ Bird.) “Bomber” Wells, a spin bowler and great character, played for Glocuestershire and Nottinghamshire. He used to bat at #11 since one couldn’t bat any lower. Of him, they used to paraphrase Compton’s famous words describing an equally inept runner: “When he shouts ‘YES’ for a run, it is merely the basis for further negotiations!”… Incidentally, Compton was no better. John Warr said of Compton, “He was the only person who would call you for a run and wish you luck at the same time.” Anyway, when Wells played for Gloucs, he had an equally horrendous runner as the 10. During a county match, horror of horrors…both got injured. Both opted for runners when it was their turn to bat. Bomber played a ball on the off, called for a run, forgot he had a runner and ran himself. Ditto at the other end. In the melee, someone decided that a second run was on. Now we had all four running. Due to the confusion and constant shouts of “YES” and “NO”, eventually, all of them ran to the same end. (Note- At this point in time, the entire ground is rolling on the floor laughing their behinds out.) One of the fielders - brave lad - stops laughing for a minute, picks the ball and throws down the wicket at the other end. Umpire Alec Skelding looks very seriously at the four and calmly informs them, “One of you buggers is out. I don’t know which. You decide and inform the bloody scorers!”
