Kanjoos: Yeh kela (banana) kaise diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Kanjoos: 60 paisa ka deta hai?
Shopkeeper: 60 paise me to sirf chilka milega.
Kanjoos: Lee 40 paise, chilka rakh aur kela de de.
A Kanjoos on his death bed:
My wife, where are you?
Wife: Yes, I’m here.
My sons and daughters, are you all here?
Children: Yes, Papa
Kanjoos: To phir barabar wale kamre ka pankha kyun khula hai
1 Kanjoos 14th floor se neche gira
Girte waqt usne
apni ghar ki khirki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!
1 Kanjoos ne arbi ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.
Arabi ne usey Mercedez gift kardi.
Arabi ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,
Kanjoos ne phir khoon dia.
Ab ki baar Arabi ne til ke laddu gift kiye,
Kanjoos: Ghusse se, Mercedez kyun nahi di?
Arabi: Ab hamare andar bhi Kanjoosoon ka khoon daur raha hai
A Kanjoos called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Baap Mar gaya hai, kya charges honge?
Newspaper: Rs. 50 per word.
Kanjoos: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho “Ghafoor Bhai Died”.
Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
Kanjoos: Oh ho! zara sochne do… Achha… likho… … .
Ghafoor Bhai Died – Suzuki for Sale.
EIK Kanjoos KHALI KATORE ME ROTI DABA KAR KHA RAHA THA
WAITER NE DEKA TU PUCHA: AAP YE KYA KAR RAHE HAIN?
Kanjoos NE JAWAB DIYA: MAIN MATHS KA TEACHER HUN, AUR DAAL SUPPOSE KAR KE KHA RAHA HUN
Kanjoos to dukandar: Yaar zara toothbrush dena mere brush ka 1 baal toot gaya hai
Dukandar: 1 baal toota hai to naya kyun le rahe ho?
Kanjoos: jo toota hai woh akhri tha.
