got them in a mail..pls don’t bite!!
WHY PARENTS HAVE GRAY HAIR
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees
about an urgent problem with one of the main computers.
He dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted
with a child’s whispered, “Hello?”
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster,
the boss asked, “Is your Daddy home?”
“Yes,” whispered the small voice.
“May I talk with him?” the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, “No.”
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?”
“Yes,” came the answer.
“May I talk with her?”
Again the small voice whispered, “No.”
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone,
the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person
who should be there watching over the child.
“Is there any one there besides you?” he boss asked the child.
“Yes,” whispered the child, “a policeman.”
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home,
the boss asked: “May I speak with the policeman?”
“No, he’s busy,” whispered the child.
“Busy doing what?” asked the boss.
“Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman,” came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter
through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, “What is that noise?”
“A hello-copper,” answered the whispering voice.
“What is going on there?” asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered,
“The search team just landed the hello-copper.”
Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked,
“What are they searching for?”
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: “Me.”
AIRLINE REGULATIONS
Two voices - male & female - obviously on a plane.
“I think everyone’s asleep, lets go”
Sound of steps.
“This one’s empty .. no-ones looking .. you go in first”
“Its a bit cramped - let me sit down”
“Have you got the condom? Quick - put it on”
Sniff sniff!
“Ah perfume-you think of everything”
“This is great…” (long sigh)
Static on the loud speaker, then a new voice:
“This is the captain speaking, to those two people in the rear toilet.
We know what you’re doing and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulations…
Now put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the smoke detector!”
OFFICER: Marine, do you have change for a dollar?
MARINE: Sure, buddy.
OFFICER: That’s no way to address an officer! Now let’s try it again!
Marine, do you have change for a dollar?
MARINE: No, SIR!
The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused.
‘Need some help?’ a secretary asked.
‘Yes,’ he replied. ‘how does this thing work?’
‘Simple,’ she said, taking the fat report from his hand
and feeding it into the shredder.
‘Thanks, but where do the copies come out?’
good one :k: