This is mainly for the guys but ladies feel free to add:
The subject of this thread is to help the bumbling fools we men are with women. There are some home truths that apply to all women and the quicker we understand them the better it is for us to get out of trouble. The first one is the most obvious.
Your wife, SO, girlfriend or even one night stand will never ever tell you she is upset. Oh no that would be just to easy for us wouldn’t it fellas? This is how the scenerio plays out.
You are having a normal day when you either meet, get a phone call, e-mail or chat with your female counter-part. You feel something is odd as soon as she says hi. So you ask her whats wrong. This is where it happens.
Your “Oh ****” senses start to tingle. What did I do now? I couldn’t have done anything…there is no way she can be upset with me i was at my mothers. How could i be in trouble now? Anyway you question a second time are you sure there is nothing wrong. The response is no, or the question is questioned with another one.
What you normally have is:
- Why should I be angry?
- Have you done anything to make me angry?
- No there is nothing I am upset about.
See here fella’s you are screwed regardless. If you accept her lie as the truth you are screwed. You don’t believe her and pester with her more info you are still screwed.
At this point your spine is frozen cold and your nerves are on end. Why? Because you sense the evil, its the feeling you get when a guy gets kicked in the balls, or when the devil approaches. You know I fate is sealed by this time. Your “Oh ****” senses are at their highest now.
This high state of alertness suddenly alerts your BS squad. Yes your BS squad. Because we all know as men as soon as your female is upset your ability to BS and sweettalk hits the X factor. You have no clue what you have done. You have no idea why she is upset, but by Allah’s sweet grace you know you can con your way out of this one.
However your BS squad is always late. By this time she has unloaded on to you what you did wrong. No turning back now. You got two choices, go down fighting which will mean no sex and the cold shoulder. Or you can accept it lose your balls and that again means no sex and the cold shoulder.
I must say that when you reach this point you are screwed. You have no choice. You must ride it out.
Do not in anyway attempt to turn it back on to her. Women can make anything we do appear to be incorrect. Men, we just can’t do it. Don’t try. You will screw yourself even further.
Do not attempt to butter her unless you have found BS loopholes in their version of the events. Every angry woman’s story has loopholes. They are there to be exploited. Catch them. Use them…and sweet talk her to where she is placated.
You can never win her over. You can only weaken her anger and resolve.
Tips to remember in such a situation:
- Know everybody who can tell her anything about you and blacklist them.
- If your “oh ****” senses start to act up, forcefully bring up the BS squad. The best BS squad? Your health. Act sick or depressed or tired. She will hold out only so much before she caves into your destressed situation.
- If you are in to the argument. Cut your losses and your balls and accept the blame. Its a no win situation. Women can turn anything we say against us and we have no clue how it happens.
- Apologise right away.
- Do not give her space. Never do that. You can seal your life of no sex right then and there. She wants space, give her 5 minutes and bring her water or something saying it will calm her nerves. 5 minutes later come to check up on her. Every guy knows exactly how to show a girl he is checking up on her. Nobody can eacth you that. 5 minutes later bring her something sweet and apologise again. Within 20 minutes she should be talking to you.
But note you will be dealing with alot of glares and abuse during those 20 minutes.
This Public Service Annoucement was brought to you by the Grumpy Can’t Sleep Network. Educating the Masses on Gender Stereotypes by the lack of wit and pathetic sarcasm
