I’m new here, but in abit of a dilemma. I recently got married to a guy from pak, well just the nikkah and I have come back to the UK, and we do talk over the phone, It was ok at the beginning but I just don’t want to talk anymore and I think he has realised that I don’t talk very much when he calls and sound fed-up at times… and the last time he called he even said we’ll talk for a few minutes, we don’t need to talk much not like we are married… and he sounded abit distant/cold… and now I don’t know what to do. I feel guility that i might have hurt him.. any advice what i could do to make it sound like that itsn’t the case.. i mean its not him, i’m the one with the problem don’t know whats happened to me lately..
if anyone can shed some light on what I could do or say next time we talk.. cheers
I'm new here, but in abit of a dilemma. I recently got married to a guy from pak, well just the nikkah and I have come back to the UK, and we do talk over the phone, It was ok at the beginning but I just don't want to talk anymore and I think he has realised that I don't talk very much when he calls and sound fed-up at times... and the last time he called he even said we'll talk for a few minutes, we don't need to talk much not like we are married... and he sounded abit distant/cold... and now I don't know what to do. I feel guility that i might have hurt him.. any advice what i could do to make it sound like that itsn't the case.. i mean its not him, i'm the one with the problem don't know whats happened to me lately..
if anyone can shed some light on what I could do or say next time we talk.. cheers
Hi and welcome you have come to the right place im new just like you and beleive me people here give good advise, the question is why you don't want to talk anymore? need more information to advise on this.
well I don't know, maybe I'm scared to get to know him... or just scared about what the future holds.. it is normal to be scared, but that should be before you make the decision of getting married.. not after its happened...
I'm just confused about the whole thing.. and now the thought of living with him is stressing me out...
Looks like while conversating with him on the phone, you found out some facts about his personality that you do not like which puts you into a fear of spending the rest of your life with this guy. You should have tried this phone coversating to get to know him better before your nikah.
It might also be a simple case of 'incompatibility' or different personalities. Maybe you find him boring so you do not enjoy talking to him. Ask yourself what it is that is bothering you. Once you know the real problem, only then you can work to resolve it.
Well, as you’re married now, its too late to be scared about whether you’ve doe the right thing etc, just make the best of the situation and try to get to know him. Maybe the topics of conversation you have don’t interest you? you’re gonna have to talk to him anyway if you think you’ve hurt his feelings in order to explain its not him and you’re sorry etc etc!
Don’t stress, think positive and don’t worry about the future, just be in the present :k:
sister, now that you're married u gotta deal with it, make the best of the situation.
also it can be that on the phone his personality is different, you know not everyone is great on the phone.
First you need to really ask yourself why you dont feel like talking to him and figure things out from there.
Some people are better talkers in person and not so much over the phone....I hope this is the case with you.
also....you just got married...I'm assuming it is arranged and you never really had the chance to get to know him. If this is the case talking to him would be like talking to a total stranger. It'll take some time to figure out each others interests......not everyone clicks right away.
in the end....always remember he is now your husband so you will have to make some effort in talking to him. get to know him just like you would anyone else.
I'm new here, but in abit of a dilemma. I recently got married to a guy from pak, well just the nikkah and I have come back to the UK, and we do talk over the phone, It was ok at the beginning but I just don't want to talk anymore and I think he has realised that I don't talk very much when he calls and sound fed-up at times... and the last time he called he even said we'll talk for a few minutes, we don't need to talk much not like we are married... and he sounded abit distant/cold... and now I don't know what to do. I feel guility that i might have hurt him.. any advice what i could do to make it sound like that itsn't the case.. i mean its not him, i'm the one with the problem don't know whats happened to me lately..
if anyone can shed some light on what I could do or say next time we talk.. cheers
long distance relationships are mostly scary, and difficult.......there could be times when u dont wana talk you just dont, i understand ur feelings...but then the fact is that u are married now and u have to deal with it........if something about him is bothering u, u must communicate with him, get into an argument, dont be afraid to, koz this is the only way u will sort out ur problems......sometimes its good to get into arguments, at times this makes 2 people come close together.........good luck...
I'm new here, but in abit of a dilemma. I recently got married to a guy from pak, well just the nikkah and I have come back to the UK, and we do talk over the phone, It was ok at the beginning but I just don't want to talk anymore and I think he has realised that I don't talk very much when he calls and sound fed-up at times... and the last time he called he even said we'll talk for a few minutes, we don't need to talk much not like we are married... and he sounded abit distant/cold... and now I don't know what to do. I feel guility that i might have hurt him.. any advice what i could do to make it sound like that itsn't the case.. i mean its not him, i'm the one with the problem don't know whats happened to me lately..
if anyone can shed some light on what I could do or say next time we talk.. cheers
Try to like your husband and talking will become much easier.
Sara: Don't talk to him for a bit because it's possible that things you say might come out harsh. If you talk to him after a couple of days you should be fine. Was it a forced marriage?
Well hun now you are married so try to make the best of it. I am not sure he is not that bad of a guy. Give him the benefit of the doubt and get to know him on a better level.
