some advice please-feeling lost :(

I know what it feels like to move on from something you had a strong emotional connection with for a very long time. If you can manage to be cordial to him even after his mistakes.....more power to you. It takes a big heart for someone to overlook the past mistakes and still maintain friendship. I would find it tough. Anyhow, you're on the right track about focusing more on yourself. And if you are destined to be with him in the end.......then may Allah make him right and good for you. And if it's not meant to be with him........may Allah grant you someone even more amazing. And whatever happens......may Allah give you the strength to move on and do what is right. Amin. Best wishes.