Software Problems!
Dear Help Desk,
I’m having trouble. Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to
Wife 1.0 and I noticed that the new program began unexpected child
processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No
mention of this phenomenon was included in the program’s product
brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself as a TSR into all other
programs and also automatically launches during system initialization
where it monitors all other system activity.
Applications that I’ve run for years, such as Poker Night 10.3,
Boy’s Night Out 5.2 and Saturday Golf 4.8, no longer run, and crash the
system whenever selected! I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the
background while attempting to run some of my other favorites. I am
thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but I can’t seem to get
Wife 1.0 to un-install.
Can you help me, please!!!?
Thanks,
Joe
COMPUTER HELP DESK RESPONSE:
Dear Joe,
We wish you had contacted us before installing this upgrade. You are
experiencing a very common problem that men complain about. The
problem is due mostly to a primary misconception in your main processor.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea
that Wife 1.0 is an entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an Operating
System and was designed by its creator to run everything! It is
unlikely that you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert
back to Girlfriend 7.0.
Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to
emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained.
It is not possible to un-install, delete, or purge the program
files from the system once they are installed. You cannot go back to
Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 was designed to disallow that action.
Some men have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0, but generally
ended up with more problems than the original Wife 1.0 system. (Refer
to your manual under “Warnings - Alimony/Child Support”)
I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.
Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest that you read
the entire section of your manual titled General Partnership Faults (GPFs).
You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that occur,
regardless of their cause.
The best course of action is usually to enter the command
C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case, avoid excessive use of the #Escape# key,
because ultimately you will have to issue the APOLOGIZE command anyway in
order for the system to return to near normal. The system will run smoothly for the most part, as long as you take the blame for all of the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but requires a high level of maintenance to keep working properly. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend
Flowers 2.1, Chocolates 5.0, and Lingus 1.1 (long tongue version). Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3, as this is not compatible with Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of Luck,
Tech Support
k: