I’m a soft person, i admit. Verrrrrrrry soft. I have never fought with anyone in my life minus my siblings. If someone hurts me or angers me i let it simmer inside me and take it out in ways other than direct confrontrations and slanging matches. A lot of people tell me you are so soft you need to stick up for yourself/your such a softie blah blah and they fail to see that by criticising me constantly with how not good for myself i am they are pushing me further into doom and gloom. I hate myself for being the way i am as it is and with people constantly mithering me about how i should be it doesn’t help, not even a little.
Why don’t people just live and let live. If you’re not hurting them or being argumentative or you are just a doormat that is your problem so why can’t they just let you be.
I'm the same way Disco. People have praised me saying i'm so easy going and then in the same breath say i am TOO easy going like it's a bad thing. I take a lot of crap from my elders. But i believe in being respectful so i never talk back. There are a lot of situations that i felt were not fair but i withstood it. The ironic thing is that if I see injustice done to someone else i'm the first one to act and speak up. I remember throughout my school days I would get into 'fights' because i was standing up for someone else. I don't know if i would necessarily do the same thing for myself.
Maybe part of it is believing in Kismet. Somehow I deserve things that happen but have to make the best of the situation. I find though that when i do keep this low profile that things always work out for the best anyways. I think I have an angel watching over me so i stay calm in every situation and pray for the best. Don't hate yourself for being the way you are. Everyone has their own unique traits and reasons why they do what they do. Personally I think I've been taught since childhood to be the 'sweet and agreeable' daughter. My parents used to only praise me when I would be like a robot saying please and thank-you for everything. They believed children should be seen and not heard. But inside I had a very creative mind ticking away and I never lost my individuality or sense of self. I think you need to accept yourself and feel confident that you don't have to be like everyone else.
You know what DD? I can also be a very soft person at times and because of that, people have assumed that I lack confidence and have a low sense of “self worth”. In the past, there have been some instances where somebody does or says something which really does make me upset, and although I do get visibly upset, I just let it go in order to keep the peace. Then again, I do sometimes talk back and get angry and because of that, I’ve also been deemed as “emotionally volative”!!
Anyway, I agree with you … people can be very judgmental. Rather than trying to understand why we are the way we are, they prefer making negative judgements and assumptions. C’est la vie.
DD, embrace your soft side! Being in my late 20s, I have come to embrace mine. Yet I also put up defenses the second I see “attack” coming but you can only learn this the hard way and roll with the punches with life experiences. I think it is wonderful to have that quality of warmth, softness, sensitivity, and emotional volatility but know when to draw the line. Like I said, I am naturally a warm, congenial person who can sometimes be a little too sensitive and even naive perhaps, but the minute I sense someone begin taking advantage of my good nature, I begin to turn on them. I can simply turn away but I give back their fair share. Whether it’s right or wrong, this is just how I am. My friends respect me for this quality while those that don’t know me don’t take too kindly to it. Again DD, word of advice: don’t shed your soft nature because it is a rarity in people nowadays.
uptill college -life i never fought wid any1… but then at certain stages in life u have to make some people realise that they are doing wrong… n u have to be harsh with them… any ways… most of the times i cannot see any1 being hurt…for that reason i did many things in ma life which were i guess totally insane…soit’s not that u can always be polite with every1.
The first step is to know you personality. If you are a soft person then there is nothing wrong with it, in fact to me, that is a quality. Ducky, you should practice what I call the Mike-Tyson-below-the-belt-knock-out jab. One punch is good enough. You should remain your sweet self and let others feel guilty about their behaviour.
Boss are those tears in memory of that one punch???
DD my mum is like that. She is so considerate of others that it becomes annoying. Always puts others before herself. I wish I could change her too. The soft hearted you are the more people take you for granted and even abuse you. The only reason why I would like to change mum (and probably why your people want you to change) is to stop that from happening. Doesn't mean that I want her to be a bad tempred feisty woman. Just so people know better than to take advantage of her.
I am glad to read so many soft side testimonials from guppans. Men have a soft side too. However you don't have to be belligerent to survive in the world; it takes practise to exercise you polite assertiveness - true for both men and women.
I am quite a soft individual, I avoid conflicts and use my humor and charm to diffuse any hostilities. Once in a while, my comments expose someone's raw nerves (which results in a feeble whimper and aromatherapy advice - such people are life's needy who are looking for emotional valdiation and confuse their supplication for "soft side") but it comes with the territory.
GupShup men, come forward and share your soft side with the rest of us. ;)
Femme, only a guy can relate to the blue teary..it really gets u blue and teary.
Btw you don’t need to practice your punches…u r perfect…haven’t seen funguy in ages
Being in my late 20s, I have come to embrace mine. Yet I also put up defenses the second I see “attack” coming but you can only learn this the hard way and roll with the punches with life experiences. I think it is wonderful to have that quality of warmth, softness, sensitivity, and emotional volatility but know when to draw the line. Like I said, I am naturally a warm, congenial person who can sometimes be a little too sensitive and even naive perhaps, but the minute I sense someone begin taking advantage of my good nature, I begin to turn on them. I can simply turn away but I give back their fair share. Whether it’s right or wrong, this is just how I am. My friends respect me for this quality while those that don’t know me don’t take too kindly to it. Again DD, word of advice: don’t shed your soft nature because it is a rarity in people nowadays.
You should remain your sweet self and let others feel guilty about their behaviour. 