For those of you who live in a joint family, either as a bahu or nand…how do you socialize with your friends? Do you invite them over or do you visit them mostly?
I know there are those who dont’ feel comfortable inviting their friends over at all so they go meet them…while some friends become familiarized with the entire family…
If you’re a bahu and you live with your jethanis/devranis, do you make an effort for your friends to become friends with them? Same if your’e a nand as well, or do you keep yoru friends separate from your in laws?
most of my desi friends are on friendly terms with my in laws so their visits are like another daughter visiting. get along very well with my mil and my fil just stays in his room... if its in the evening, we all have dinner together. but mostly they come during the day when in laws are out at work. if they are home, i just take them to my room and we mingle there. its easier than me taking over the living room and my in laws having to stay in their room.. they used to do that so i could get some privacy.. i realized it and so started taking them to my room. (we live in a 4 bedroom apt with an open concept living dining kitchen).
as for white friends... its mostly outside meets.. cept for 2 girls i know... why? they just cant understand how i can live with my in laws. privacy, horror stories from the desi circle in dk (which even frightens me at times :o ).. got too much after the initial few meets.. and then i decided ok im tired of the question answer rounds... lets just meet out for coffee etc
my sil is married and has moved out but before she did... i didnt expect her to get along with my friends... they would say hi hello to each other and then we would be alone... sometimes we would ahve lunch together.. but tahts bout it.. i didnt expect my sil to sit with them nor like them ..
when my sil friends visited.. same thing... we would say hi hello.. and she would just take them to her room ...
i dont have any male friends so i dont know how that would go :(
I dont live with them, but i will eventually, and my SIL doesnt really have lots of friends coming over, she had one, who has now moved country....but im not really concerned, if my friends came over it wouldnt be like the good old days, where friends come over for an enitre day, and you just sit around doing nothing, probly be all formal like in front of inlaws...