Socialites vs. Loners

Lifestyle Relationships
1

In terms of men, which one is more reliable as a husband? Which would you prefer and why?

The guy who has 500 friends on his facebook, multiple friends in real life he spends time with and some of whom he is close to, including other ladies?

OR

The guy who keeps to himself, doesn’t have much of a life apart from work, and basically you’re the only person he talks to?

2

Re: Socialites vs. Loners

koi normal insaan option nahi hay? :bummer:

3

Re: Socialites vs. Loners

So the dude who don't have 500 facebook friends and dozen friend don't have a life ??

4

Re: Socialites vs. Loners

agree^ facebook is not a good way to judge some one, the guy with 500 frannds might be stalking 250 of those ppl :p

5

Re: Socialites vs. Loners

It's about balance and priorities. Naturally, if the socialite guy is single then there is nothing with him having multiple friends. However, the day he is married his priority should be his wife and everything else comes secondary.

It's all about balance. That is the key imho.

6

Re: Socialites vs. Loners

given a choice between the two, always go for someone with an active social life versus someone without much of a social life. extremes in each case can be a issue.

7

Re: Socialites vs. Loners

An individual with an active social life is generally seen to be confident, self-aware and should have a reasonably good level of self-esteem. Of course this is based on the notion that his relationships are healthy, normal and do not involve Dallas style drama.

8

Re: Socialites vs. Loners

another key point, are these

1) meaningful long lasting friendships?
or
2) are these good time buddies who are more recent?

if it is solely or mostly 2, then its an issue, inability to sustain deep longer term relationships is an issue
narcism or shallowness can be an issue.

I say could be because the person could have changed significantly over years and the older friends may not be keen on the individuals new life style, it could be someone becoming more or less religious/conservative/liberal/successful etc etc or could have moved to a new place.

barring that, if someone does not have long standing deep personal relationships, to me it says something about that person...but then the opposite says something as well.

not that having only old pals is good, people grow and move into different spheres of life, you make friends throughout your life. if someone has no friends and still has the handful of pals from elementary school or high school, what does that say?

CEO1 said balance is key...it is indeed key.
how social, who is the person social with, all really matters...and whatever front ppl put to you, you can get a great sense of an individual from their social life...or lack of it

9

Re: Socialites vs. Loners

I think, when looking for husbands, women should go for men who are atleast as social as themselves, if not more.
You (ought to) want a guy whose life doesn't revolve around you. Who can meet his socializing, and to some extent emotional needs, elsewhere. Who can get his 'validation' elsewhere too. You want a husband who has more female friends than you have male friends. And to elaborate further on this concept, who has options outside the marriage just as you do. You want a well-adjusted man.

Many desi guys settled abroad, fall into the second category OP mentions. Its essentially BYOB for them (go figure)
For loners, Its also important to consider whether the guy is a loner by choice or just socially worthless/inept.

10

Re: Socialites vs. Loners

Whatever X2 said. I agree. Loner's who are loners by choice, refuse to meet anyone, aren't in touch with anyone from their past....if you think you'd be happy going to social events alone, visiting family alone, doing everything alone....consider a loner.

11

Re: Socialites vs. Loners

with a loner, you get 100% of his grumpiness. yay! <3

12

The second guy,I don't trust people who say they have so many friends.

13

Re: Socialites vs. Loners

but PCG did not say it is someone who 'says' he has many friends...she said someone who 'has' many friends
two different things.

14

Re: Socialites vs. Loners

I'd rather my husband be a friendly and outgoing person than a grumpy loner :/

15

Re: Socialites vs. Loners

Advise to ladies..go with the fella..who is a bit social and active. And that doesn't mean..if someone is less or no social is weird. They might be shy people in general. But try ya're best to go out with someone who is communicative.

16

Re: Socialites vs. Loners

Well what if the loner communicates just fine with you and you can talk to him, but he just doesn't keep a lot of friends?

17

Re: Socialites vs. Loners

Well..i know someone who is like that pcg. Well in that case..just get to know em. And don't judge them just because they don't communicate with people a lot. People have different personalities and have different outlook to their lives. So yaa..i say get to know people like that. May be ya can make some sort of difference in their lives. I actually find challenging and yet..effective..talking to people like that..coz i tell ya..if they have good things to say. Ya can learn a lot from it..