i’m not hitting him…i’m just like THOKKING the point 
k i’m out guyz have a great weekend everyone…i’ll be back here…ummm..in a coupla hrs…i got no life 
TATA
Well Irem, I think you just need to forget about this problem of yours. Cuz the more you are thinking about it the more will you feel uneasy. So just try to be yourself no matter whoever you are dealing with.
I know its easily said than done but atleast you should start trying. Best of wishes :k:
Or when you are in such situation try to think about ppl that you like, your friends etc. e.g. ME 
BM ahan 
hmm…mein apni aik aur friend se bhee baat kar rai thee…and she said its ok…its human to feel uncomfortable with some ppl…u cant feel normal with everyone…some ppl can just put u at complete ease…while others dont…its some kinda biochemical social thing
in fact she feels uncomfy abt the same group of ppl…but she thinks its ok to feel like that…
so now i think its ok too … woo hoo im normal :halo:
good for the ppl arround you.
Only if thats true. 
[for discussion sake ]
what’s normal anyway?
why should i compare myself to the understood standards of normal?
im ME and bas thats who i AM and who cares who anyone thinks…nobody has the right to look down at me, and call me abnormal…thats their arrogance…
hayna?
lekin my problem is i care what others think abt me. which i should not.
Irem
The wonderful thing about human beings is that we are all so complex. You know, whenever i’ve come close to stereotyping someone into a particular cast, Alhamdulillah life always throws me a curve-ball and leaves me feeling that i have to learn to respect each individual on her/his own merit. i can give you real-life personal examples. People i looked at and immediately thought must be racist, turned out to teach me lessons on being open-minded that i have never forgotten and hope i never do… girls i thought were snooty, turned out to be humble. Everyone carries their own little personal baggage around with them, if someone appears a certain way, we can never really know what factors drive them into appearing that way you know what i mean.
Like, for eg., in real-life, i’m reallyyyy quiet around people i am not too familiar with. Once you break the shell though, i’ll laugh like anything and am always cracking jokes with my friends. If you met me in real-life, your initial impression of me would probably me - man she’s so snotty. But if one took the time to get to know me without the mental barriers, then you’d think otherwise. Waisay the way i dress is also probably more ‘liberal’ than you would feel comfortable with on first glance… but if you knew me personally, i know you’d learn to respect me on my terms… hmm now i’m starting to blab 
i guess my point is - take the time to get to know people on their own grounds. Hopefully one of the things you’ll find are more similarities than differences, Insha’Allah
yaar nadia...u know what i think yaar...v cant force ourselves to like someone...or dislike someone...i think ye sab....its all from inside...dil pe kisi ka koi zor nai...
lekin...yes...we shud be polite to everyone...
Irem,
Why'd you change your signature? A minute ago, it was something else...
Khair, you are right - we can't force ourselves to "like" anyone. But we can force ourselves to simply be polite to someone, even if on the inside, we don't feel as though we like them. Liking someone is not the same as being polite to them. You don't have to like the people you socialize with, but you can be polite to them just out of basic courtesy and respect. You never know what the other person is going through; maybe their daughter is sick, or their niece has passed away.. i've met people whom i didn't really know, didn't think i'd get along with, and then i found out that they were going through really serious personal problems (in one case, yes, a relative of their's had been murdered... just imagine if i had refused to talk to her or whatever, or thought to myself - she's so snotty because she's quiet). i don't know yaar - stuff like that teaches me - you NEVER know what the other person is going through... never never ever. Everyone is unique and carries their own personal baggage; we don't have to "like" their personalities immediately, but yes - we could take a few minutes just to TRY to know them and show basic respect for them. If for no other reason, then that you never know what secrets/issues/problems they are carrying around inside themselves.
yaar bas…im in a bad mood nadz 
feeling really really angry..
dafa karo
aur yaar kasam se mujh se nai hota ye sab 
apnay aap ko force karna k kisi ke respect karo ye wo bhaar mei jayeion saray i hate everyone right now
except u
hey Irem 
It’s okay yaar… i go through days too feeling like i hate everyone in the world. Honestly i do, so you’re not alone.
i think i know what will cheer you up.
Re: socialising with ppl who r really DIFFERENT
Irem, i don’t see this as self centered…thinking about your issues and wanting to discuss them and alter than shows good self awareness and willingness to change…positive things.
I guess i’m curious on about two things..
one is how your family perceives people who are "difft’ more “modern” open, etc…what did you mom/dad say about them, how were they viewed…talked about…treated.
2nd, what do you feel would happen if you did talk to them? or became friends, do you feel like you would lose control, be sucked into that type of thinking or do you think it’ll change you for the worse?
Re: socialising with ppl who r really DIFFERENT
Find a good role model fromyour friends or family. See how they respond and react. If not pretend you’re a spy for the intelligence agency and you’re playing a game. Psychologically it gives you confidence because you have less at stake since its a game. And ofcourse practice makes perfect. The more awkward positions u put urself in the more u will learn. Timing is also key, get that right, when to talk, say hello, crack a joke, include other people. Simple people skills that u develop and are useful in the work place to gain rapport and move up the ladder quicker.
Don’t worry, u’ll be arright.
I wish I was like you Irem, I like everyone and it always gets me in a right mess when I find out what theyre really like. The company you keep is very important. Youre right, be polite to everyone, dont be judgemental but if you really feel you cant get along with someone, theres no point in trying really hard. You have to trust your instincts as well.
thx for replies amelie, cw and mushi :)
I'm kinda like catwoman lol I don't like everyone but I do manage to get along with everyone I meet because I am so polite, adaptable and try not to ever judge anyone.
The problem is if they turn out to be the kinda people you'd rather not associate with it's kinda hard to get rid of them!? Cause in thier minds you are this amazing non-judgemental open minded sincere guy... and people like that are indeed hard to find... but still I've got certain standards based mainly on my own values and morals and I believe I have a right to choose who I allow to get close to me and whom I wish to spend time with.
Irem you know sometimes you worry about the most ridiculous things?! And you're so funny and so cute.
You seem to be a very sincere and thoughful person and that's really sweet. If you have doubts about yourself regarding certain aspects of your personality or how you handle various situations I think to an extent that is a really good thing. It's good to be aware of one's own self and want to make a conscious effort to become a better person if you feel you are lacking in anyway. At the same time be true to yourself too. It's ok to be who you are and not live up to everyone else's expectations.
You can't make everyone happy all the time but it's always good to be considerate of other people's feelings.
Re: socialising with ppl who r really DIFFERENT
By Desi you meant Pakistanis. You are in PAKISTAN, right.