Ok, so every now and then we are all invited over to friend’s homes for dinners or parties. Usually, I take a little gift for them, especially if I am going to their home for the first time. Do you have to take something if let’s say you’re going for the 2nd, 3rd time but after many months? I would take a cake or mithai, or something of that sort. What d’ya say 
Re: Social Etiquettes
It does not matter to me if one brings gift every time they come to my home or they do not bring anything even on their first visit.
I do take some gift when I visit someone first time not on any of the following visits.
Re: Social Etiquettes
i always take dessert if someone has invited me over for dinner....doesnt matter how many times they have invited me. If they went through the trouble of making me a dinner....giving them a small dessert isnt a big deal. It's just a token of my appreciation.
Re: Social Etiquettes
like someone above said, formal invitations pe le jaaety hein something kuch bhi from deserts to mitahi, and if some occasion usually take mithaai and kaprey lets say if its a new baby and some baby toy or something.
waisey agar bahot close ppl hein to they wont mind if you never bring anything cos u got to their place regular lekin agar after some months then they wont mind but like AE said, its a token of appreciation that they have invited you.
kiss ne dawat ki hai aap ki, mein bhi aa jaaon :D
You know, I honeslty hate it when people bring gifts the second or third time. Even the first, but I let that one slide, cuz it’s so accepted. I feel sooooo obligated to buy them something each time I go to their place. Cake or mithae would be a LOT better. That’s what my mom does.
Re: Social Etiquettes
Gift when you go for the first time is just fine. any other visits even if after a long time are not necessary/obligatory. you can obviously but you arent required. I usually ask before bringing dessert cause the hostess might have a specific menu planned or might have her own dessert she wants to serve. Most of the time i go with other gifts like scented candles, stationary etc. if she doesnt like it she can always regift it.
Re: Social Etiquettes
I like bringing something even a small gift to the invite but if it's a dinner invite then i won't bring any food item with me, i consider it against the manners.
Tuhfay denaa mohabbat ki alamat hai so it never hurts if you take even a dessert to someone's house.If its a potluck then I don't take anything but other than that I usually take dessert .
You know, I honeslty hate it when people bring gifts the second or third time. Even the first, but I let that one slide, cuz it's so accepted. I feel sooooo obligated to buy them something each time I go to their place. Cake or mithae would be a LOT better. That's what my mom does.
Easy for you to say.................with a name like "gulab jamun" you would
welcome all the time!........:)
Manners ke marey logon please sorry if I am going to hurt anyones feelings:hehe:
Pehly yehi hota tha ke pehli bar kisi ke ghar ja rehy hain tu tuhfa ly ja rahy hain. Os ke baad nahi yahan ab ye riwaj sa hu giya hy ky zaror kuch ly ker jana hy khali hath nahi jana. Main aksar ye soch ker tuhfa ly jati hon ky agar mujhey khiyal hu jinhon ney mujhy khaney per bulaiya hy hu sakta hy main unhin invite na ker sakon apney ghar tu chalo kuch ehsan sa utar jaay ga.
Waisy is riwayat ki waja se ky aap jain tu zaror kuch ley ker jaain hota ye hai ky koi aik do bar khany per a jaay woh aap ko ya rest of group ko invite na kery tu . Phir osey bhi koi nahi bulata.
Waisy bhi asal riwayat ke mehman ko bulaiya hy tu kudh pakka ker ya bazar se mugwa ker khana khila raja ker bhyju ab khatam si hi hu gai hy:D
PotLuck is “Aap hamarey ghar a rahy hu tu kiy ala rehy hu, Ham aap ke ghar a rahy hain tu kiy apakka rehy hu”
Aram na mezban ko na mehman ko.
Ab aksar poluck ke qaail log kehty hain ky her aik dish bana ker la raha hy tu dill main ye nahi hota flan ney apny ghar invite nahi kiya. Magar yaqeen kero phir is bat per dill maily hoty hain ky beena apny ghar nahi bulati ky bachey ghar ganda ker daity hain her bar eena mena teena hi kion apney ghar ikhata karain friends ko.
Gifts/Tuhfy tahafi ka silsila acha tu hy magar hu sakta hy koi itn abhi afford na ker saky. I mean agar maqsad milna julna hy tu tuhfy ko agar aap shart bana dain gy na ye taruf bhi bojh ban jata hy. Her aik ko Allah ne apney apney ghar main diya hai. Aap ki Mikasa ki 5 dollars ki plate kiya izafa ker dy gi unhon ny bhi kisi agly ko chala daini hy:DMagar ju afford nahi ker sakty na on ky liy aap milna julna bhi mushkil ker daity hai.
Or han tuhfon ka bhi phir ye masla hota hy ky main ny tu 50 dollars ka macy’s se liya huwa gift diya tha ye tu flea market sey liya howa gand dey giey:mad: 20 dollars waly gift per 25 na sahih 20 ki wapsi tu honi chahiy na.(ye muhubataib barhai or banti ja rahi hoti hain in tahaif key zariy)
Shadi biah salgirah ki baat main nahi ker rahi aaey din ki potlucks ki bat ker rahi hon jahan mezban ko tuhfa dyna or other guests ke sath exchange kerna aik riawayat si hy
waisy manners ka pehla taqaza ya shart-e-awalain tu ye hai ke khatey peety logon ka aik group hai ameer umara ka alag or ghareeb ghuraba ko tu koi pochta nahi. Bas middle clasiey/khatey peety aik adh ameer woh paharon per jin ka ghar hy bara sa:eek) ko bula ker sabit kerty hain we are ameer uamar dykhu tum jasion ko lift kerwa di.
Ameer ye masjdon or faith based Muslim organizations ke kert adhrta politicale reasons ki waja se on ko bhi maz aoqt mail milap rakhna perta hy chootey logon se warna ye log milney ky qabil nahi hotey baat kerny ki tameez tu hoti nahi in logon ko majbori hy:hoonh: vote bhi tu laina hy:wink:
Sorry for this lambi and GNUrdu post:D Perhna aap per farza nahi hai bas yehi soch ker darguzar kijiy ga.
Re: Social Etiquettes
We try to take gifts for the first visit and dessert for subsequent visits.
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i am inviting all of u to my place.bring me nice gifts
Main sirf duaon ke phool laon gi;)
Easy for you to say.................with a name like "gulab jamun" you would welcome all the time!........:)
You saw right through me! ;)
**believe me most of the tim ethat dessert will end up in trash:D
Waisy main sochti hon kitna maza aey kisi ke han achanak jane k aprogram baney tu aap ko ye pryshani n ahu ky ghar main tu kuch hai nahi rasty main ruk ker kuch laina hy late hu jaty hain ye manners uff mar dalain ge hamain.
Formalities ke bagher milney ka bhi aik apna maza hai ju sirf Pakistan main tha for me.
PS: Waisy PK main bhi log ab matlab ke baghyr milna nahi pasand kerty aksar jaghon per or tuhfa chahy kam ka na bhi hu qeemat se muhubat main izafy ka baais banta hy:wink:
**
Re: Social Etiquettes
^ Agree. Why desis are hung up on cake (so unhealthy) and crystalwear?
First time Ok. Other times no need. Just be informal and casual. Help in kitchen, setting up dinner table etc and mix up with people. Thats even better.
If its Eid, B'day, house warming or new baby arrival then its OK to bring gift.
(Other thing in etiquette is always call ahead. Don't know why some people call from the road and ask: Are you home? We were thinking to come over! Sorry GN sis, I did not read you whole post. Informal meeting may be good but I like to meet people with some planning)
You Didi when did you chori my etique.
I always do same. Alhamdolillah.
Chalo a jain khyr hy per is qisam ke logon ko aap jab bhi phone kerain gy woh aap ke kuch kehney se pehley hi apni masrofiyat aap ko bata dain ge mujhey is breed per buhat ghusa charhta hy or baqaida khud phone bhi nahi karain gey aap puhanch jao tu kahain gey phone tu ker ke ana chahiy tha:2guns: ham kuch intizam ker laty halan ke das din pehly bhi bata do tu yehi khilain ge ju do biscut ki prchain or ajeeb sa cake or TV per suni koi Ch****a si recipie with cha kabhi kabhi tu allah bhabi chai tu achi nahi hoti sehat ke liy bas bas ab mat piya kijiy ham bhi nahi banaty
LOL!
Sometimes I get three cakes from three different families. Not only they feel awkward I get a sinking feeling, what could I do with so much cake???
And poor crystalwear just gets passed along to another house. It may not even match the house furniture. Best thing is a good smile and casual activity at my house. Play cards, shoot pool, jump in backyard pool, do BBQ, play carrom, watch game, do prayer together whatever. Just don’t bring a cake!! 
Waisey, it may be that they are really busy. Still calling ahead is a good idea.