I haven't read the whole thread but everyone makes it seem as though its in your hands whether you have a kid or not, what would you do if contraception failed you and you fell pregnant?
F'ck this people. They don't know how happy everyone was when they were born, they don't know the joy they brought to the people around them. They don't know that they were not a BURDEN. THEY DON'T KNOW THEIR MOMS AND DADS NURTURED THEM.
F'ck this people. They don't know that it's not them who make life.
I think God's plan was to advance, not to regress.
Why are you taking it so personally? I think instead of contributing to the world population by having a kid the more resonable thing to do FOR ME is to adopt if I absolutly want a kid.. How does this makes me disgusting??
I adopt, I abort or have a kid it is my decision and does not in any freaking away effect your life…why get so personal then???
Very noble indeed, that you are so concerned about world population and decided to not have a kid of your own to reduce world population by one. Good luck! :k:
Thing is I can only do my part. Plus there are other reasons as well but again at the end of the day it is my decision for myself and I am not judging and saying nasty stuff to people who choose to have kids.
^ Well, technically its a decision between you and your spouse, and supposedly not your alone, but thats besides the point. I agree with you, that its flabbergasting why people get so passionately personal about other people on an online discussion forum, when the matter at hand, in no way shape or form, will affect them personally, at all.
People have no right to slam others for their reproductive choices. That is as personal as the sex relationship between husband and wife.
Some people just dont want kids. Thats OK. Some DO want kids. Thats ok too. Adoption is a very honorable thing to do. But NO ONE should interfere, judge or comment upon the decision that another couple makes in this area. NOT our business to speculate or comment upon.
People have no right to slam others for their reproductive choices. That is as personal as the sex relationship between husband and wife.
Some people just dont want kids. Thats OK. Some DO want kids. Thats ok too. Adoption is a very honorable thing to do. But NO ONE should interfere, judge or comment upon the decision that another couple makes in this area. *NOT our business to speculate or comment upon.
*
Didn't she make it 'our' business by starting the topic?
^ NO. Just because I started a topic does not make the issue in hand other's business and by no means it qualifies for personal attacks. By all means one can state ones POV but to go to the lengths of syaing stuff like some of these guys said is just plain rude. In real life if some one ask for your opinion do you start bashing them?
^ NO. Just because I started a topic does not make the issue in hand other's business and by no means it qualifies for personal attacks. By all means one can state ones POV but to go to the lengths of syaing stuff like some of these guys said is just plain rude. In real life if some one ask for your opinion do you start bashing them?
well, thats what everyones doing, some ppl are rude some arent. u gotta take it on yhe chin.
at the end of the day its ur decision and nonoe can impose their will on you.
we’ve been married for just over a year now, and lately the baby questioning has just jumped into full-speed mode - everyone and their mom wants to know, but fair enough, we want kids. i talk about having kids with my family, my hubby is looking forward to it too and hopefully next year this time, we’ll be expecting. what we’re getting now though, is the other side of the argument- will you quit work after you have the baby? daycares are no good. if you don’t stay at home with your baby and instead go back to work and send them to daycare with strangers, then you’re a bad mother. but what if i have to go back to work? what if thats the only way we can afford a certain lifestyle and be able to give our kid what we want? and more than that, what if i WANT TO? it seems even when you choose to have a child, there are always people out there wanting to rain on your parade and make sure you conform to the kind of life they led, whether it was pleasant or not. in the end, you really must stick to your guns and do what makes you and your partner happy… even if you have to hear about it for the rest of your life
it seems like this mentality of ours will never change. I mean after getting married is tht the ONLY thing that u have to do. Every husband and wife have a mutual understanding and if you think that adopting a child down the road wud be more fulfilling than having ur own then go ahead - its ur life - and im sure that where everyone is eyeing u at this time its none of their business to guide u and tell u what to do. if u have a certain agreement between u and ur husband and both of u are happy then nothing else matters!! Do what u think is the best for the both of u..
goodluck
awwww SGC - hugzz but I totally agree with what your saying - me and my hubby want kids.. not right now because we have plans - we want to have fun, travel, do things together; I want to finish off my degree and be prepared; have the mental freedom that i dnt have a pending education that I need to take care of after the baby comes along. On the other hand, Ive only been married for 3 mnths and Im being asked the “when are u planning on settling down question”. Honestly, I thought marriage meant settling down - having a baby meant expanding ur family.. but anyhow I think that as long as me and my husband agree on a certain few things with respect to this matter - no one else should have to tell me what to do, or when to do it by.
Hi guys,
I recently came back from Pakistan and it was fun but the eternal question of “Bachay” haunted me through out my stay of 25 days. You see I have been married for five years and at this point of our lives we do not want kids. It is a mutual decision and this was how I always imagined my married life. My friends and family used to say that you are crazy because a girl should have kids soon after marriage but I always disagreed. All of them have one or two kids by now and they now think that I am making a big mistake. But at least I can argue with my friends or family but when it comes to in-laws and further in-law family I can’t argue. And their first impression automatically is assuming that we are unable to conceive so they some times give me dua to read or ask me to consult some famous gynecologist. If I tell them that we are not planning to have kids they never buy it. And I am sick of the rumors that we can’t have kids. It was so uncomfortable to even hold and kiss a baby in the family without having to see the pity in people’s eyes.
The thing which worries me is further down the road if I ever want a kid it would be my preference to adopt one but again you know even if I mention this option in my in-laws it would be like conforming their doubts. People in Pakistan typically think that who in their right mind will adopt if they are able to have a biological child.
What do you guys think of this situation? It is awkward to start a thread on this topic but hey I might get some good suggestions to deal with it.
i guess u r not alone dear! i m in the same boat. i will b completing 3 yrs in Jan 09. first year I was busy studying after which I immediately got a good offer so started workin...(since 2 years) so time went on and on and every time i felt i was not ready. actually i love my freedom and independence.. i love the carefree life me and my hubby lead... in a way i know i m irresponsible but I ve always been irresp and lazy since time immemorial!! now that we are almost nearing our 3rd year, i have deicded enough is enough i shud have a baby and should not delay anymore... by the time i have baby itll b end of 2009 or 2010.. and I am turning 25 in Oct this year so I think the earlier the better. so the thing is bebo, dun say u r unsure if u want kids, and dun think abt adoption... apnay bacchay ki feelin hi alag hoti hia. dun u wanna have the feeling of some livin being growin inside u.. i think the feelin is magical..!! so Inshallah I hope I get preg atleast this year... i m really prayin and tryin.
unfortunately, in our society ppl assume marriage = kids... i mean it sure is, but everybody has a plan ... goals in life and its only rite that they have kids when they think the time is rite. i have always faced qs when i have ben to pak and i hate them i tell u. 2 years tak we said we r not tryin but now since i have started tryin i m tellin everyone that and they r kinda not on my back anymore...jst ignore those comments and do what you both wanna do.
I think you should adopt one kid , aur ek pyada kar lo...sab khush.
Population ki tension kyon leyti ho?Kya pata tumhara baby bara ho kar population kay leye kuch different kare , you know what i mean:)
think positive yaaaar.
