So what if I do not want to have kids?

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: So what if I do not want to have kids?

Why can't people here just realize that it is a PERSONAL CHOICE, period. Is someone hitting you hard on the head for WANTING to have kids? Similarly, if someone wishes the opposite of that, why can't people just respect that? You don't know them, you do not know their exact reasons for not wanting a baby, you don't know anything- yet, you show up here with your silly aunty type comments for god knows what purpose. All this girl asked was why people are so concerned with her personal life and why can they not shut up. Stay away if you cannot help her, there's no need to harp around nonsense stuff that is not even relevant to the thread. You want to have kids, GO have them and stay happy with them. Either respect or leave other people alone who do not have the same choices in life.

82

Re: So what if I do not want to have kids?

and you must be one of those frustrated women who decides to cry out her pain in the Internet - where you can get no advise for that situation - instead of giving those aunties the STRAIGHT answer...get a life...

I think we should close this topic now...it leads to nothing! for all those who feel attacked, hurt or whatever, I'm sorry...that was not my intention...do what you think is the best for you, but please do not look back when you're old and alone or when you're too old for your child...

insaan baad meyn paschtata hai...enjoy karro aapni life...have a nice one...

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Re: So what if I do not want to have kids?

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Timepass
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Re: So what if I do not want to have kids?

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Re: So what if I do not want to have kids?

:)

~**~ Tussi Baray ----- Ho ~~~~ ~**~
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Re: So what if I do not want to have kids?

:hugz:

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Re: So what if I do not want to have kids?

Thanks.

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Re: So what if I do not want to have kids?

^^ shoooo cute :)

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Re: So what if I do not want to have kids?

K i wanna know what happened :naraz:

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Re: So what if I do not want to have kids?

buddy, if u can vent about your own personal frustrations (don't think i dont remember your past journal entries) , then why cant someone else talk abt their frustrations against people who can't respect their choices.

:)

Ok I am seeking justifications for my actions but
93

Re: So what if I do not want to have kids?

I dont know why, but I agree with your post..

Life does change once you have a child. Your relationship with your spouse definately changes.. but its not all for the bad. Yeah there are a lot of things we cant do (right now) because of a child.. but its a sacrifice you make, which you can probably, most likely fulfil later..

Having a child or not having one is totally a couples decision... but neither sides should call the other narrow-minded.. But yes, I do agree that the reasons we give for our decisions, sometimes, do come across very very narrow-minded..

Not all people who have kids in the first 1-2 years of marriage are narrow-minded or have been put under pressure to have a child.. It's THEIR CHOICE as its yours to not have one... some people believe that'll make them more complete.. I feel more complete with my child.. but at the same time, I felt complete with my hubby too... Yes, we dont get much time on our own these days, but the time we do get alone is very much respected and appreciated..

i of all people can admit that i was sure i could never raise a child.. i couldnt even keep my room clean for more than a day (its worst now!) but having a child gave me a new sense of responsibility and confidence that i dont think i could have gotten before having bubz... i am so much more confident than I have ever been, more comfortable with my appearance, and life in general.. I really dont know how, but I guess for me, it was my daughter who changed me.. for the better :)

neways, thats all

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Re: So what if I do not want to have kids?

I can't disagree.

95

Somone implied here that only women don't want to have kids. I am a guy and absolutely don't want to have kids.

For people asking for reasons why no kids, cannot get their head around "personal preference". They are like little teenagers screaming "how come you don't like this ride man, you gotta try it man".

The reason I don't want kids is that they take too much work, too much energy, too much money and too much emotional involvement for the return of some sporadic yet admittedly intense moments of happiness and pride. People tell me their kids are the greatest joys in their lives and I tell them they must be as they are the only source of joy in your life. Many recent studies have indicated that couples happiness levels go down with kids and increase slowly after they leave for college. I don't think these studies are true but they indicate a trend.

People suggest I should try atleast once. Sure if kids were disposable then I would "try" them, see if they fit and then dispose them off, if they didn't. But no that will be too cruel. As for loneliness at old age, I disagree in principle with fulfilling one's insecurities about life with kids. Secondly I don't even know whether I would live long enough to be that old. Thirdly, recent studies have shown that old couples miss the company of their partner much more than they miss their kids because their kids simply can't connect with them at same level as someone of their age.

As for the argument ......... "you regret it later in life", who is to say equal number of parents aren't "regretting" choice of having a kid who turned out bad. Most of all, I don't believe in regretting (wasting) in my life, I believe in enjoying what you have.

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Re: So what if I do not want to have kids?

you are truly a american pie

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yes i agree with american pie..i know some parents whose sons turned out really bad and they pretty much making htier parents life miserable in the parent's bhurapa..and there alwayz saying it would have been better if we never had him..honeslty its so sad what theyre going through..

so if there are people who think that couples are selfish bcs they dont want to take on the burden of kidz then i say soem kidz are equally slefish and probably even more so as they dont a rat's tuui about htier parents..they just wanna jump around inslut them and htier isaat use htier money fight with them and make thier life hell in the bhurapa of poor parents..

i really feel osrry for desi coules who have out of contorl boys to raise..maybe if htey had PLANNED first to see if they have energy time knowledge of handling their boyz then they wouldnt have to go throught the museebats that they put hteir parents through in the future..

i know lots of parents..they disciplined thie rkidz wrong.,.it turned against them..they were buys with other things in life and hteere kidz weere neglected a bit and followed another's track and who suffers?..the parnets..they didnt mean to do somet higns wrong but..theyr only human..

a chid is not just soemthing u have cause oh well for ht eheck of it..were marreid..it takes palaanning timing..cause if ur child goes int he worng direction there will be a point in time where you wont be able to handle him and he might turn out to be ur biggest enemy..

SO make sure u have TIME ENERGY POROPER KNOWLEDGE b4 u bring a life into this owrld!

► Islami Jamhoriya Pakistan Kay Gaddi Nasheen Aur Jageer Daar
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Maybe to some, those sporadic moments of happiness with their kids are worth living for, though I wouldn't say they are sporadic. Maybe to some, dying alone on their deathbeds isnt what they aimed for. Its natural to have the urge to procreate, after all.

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Re: So what if I do not want to have kids?

Children are a blessing, put them on hold for whatever reason but never say u'll never want to have atleast one. children need alot of the parentz time and energy don't put it off for too long, so tht ur not here long enough to give them tht time or don't hav enough energy to turn them into the best personalities by giving them a gud upbringing, basically the parent shouldn't regret the time they chose to bring a child into the world, do whatever suits u and ur partner best without being too selfish ...

Sadqa
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Not that I want her to have kid but suicide is also people's Personal Choice....I guess we should stop stopping them from it :)

I agree to the extent that she must have a last say over the issue but there is no harm in listening to other's point of view specially who have been there, done that. Ho sakta hai koi kam ka mashwara dai rahey hoon

I don't buy the argument of "too much work ..so dont wana have kids". Ager yee he hamarey maa-baap nai socha hota tu abhee hum yahaan na hotey :)

....and above all that, no matter how tired you are, how much dead your body/mind is, when your kids (in my case my 2 years old princes and 6 years old prince), hug you and say baba I love you...all of your tired vanishes away, you feel like energey surging through your body.

Yesterday I was relaxing after the long day (which I bound to have kids or no kids), my 2 years old was like "baba are you tired? let me KHIDMAAT you" ...ahhhhhhhh